Friday, June 16, 2006

That's right folks, araalinas is shuttin' down. (GASP!!! Oh, the horror!!!) Araali (me) is no longer n as (American Samoa).


Movin' on.

The countdown is over.

I've flown the coop,

left the Rock.

It was good while it lasted, but now I'm past it.

At approximately 11:20pm on the 8th of June, I left American Samoa with no plans to return. As most of you already know, I've accepted a teaching position back in Uganda, where I taugh for three years before going to American Samoa. I've been a bit out of the loop for the past week, not having regular internet access. I spend the weekend in Hawaii, and now I'm back in rural North West Florida. As sad as it might sound, it is "home, sweet home." God, my visits home are never very sweet, but it is a necessary ritual: gotta see the family, gotta see the friends. I'm only setting up temporary camp in the panhandle. I'll be heading back to Africa sometime in July; I'm looking at the 10th.

I'm shutting down araalinas (GASP!!! Oh, the horror!!!). This blog is "dunzo," but I'm setting up a new blog to chronicle my Florida adventure, and then one to keep you posted on my goin' ons in Uganda.

I forever remain "araali," and you better believe that the prayers continue to be lifted up to the pagan gods. But are they payin' any attention?

Check it out, y'all.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006


is the new bod

Ouch! As a person who always wears sunscreen, I'm kicking myself. I fly out tomorrow night, and since I was recently asked by someone (who will remain nameless), "Is there no sun in Samoa?" I made an attempt to do something about the icky pasty color of my skin that normally is not exposed to the sun. In other words, I caved in to peer pressure, made an unhealthy decision, and exposed my skin to the harmful rays of the sun without protection.

Peer pressure's got a hold on you.
Peer pressure, it's the thing to do.
Peer pressure, what a strange energy.
Peer pressure, won't you set me free.

(Teen II: The Competition, sixth grade play, 1988)

Where is Cindy when I need her? I should've ignored the taunting of others and followed the advice of Cindy Crawford. Cindy, in her heyday as host of MTV's House of Stlye once pushed fake tans or being pale because she said everyone in the fashion industry knows how unhealthy real tans are. How could I forget the wisdon of Cindy?

What I hope is that by tomorrow, the pink will fade into a rich Coppertone tan.

A guy can dream.

Neglect to apply sunscreen... Never again.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006


Have you ever had the feeling that you were being watched, or glowered at menacingly by a spooky face while your are out having a good time with you friends at a neighborhood hole-in-the-wall on a Friday night?

Well I have. Take a a look at that face that showed up in a photo taken of me at Players' Club last Friday night. She does not look very happy with me. Nicole noticed it and showed it to me on Saturday. It weirded me out a bit, but then I took a closer look last night, and I'm not convinced it's anything out of the ordinary. The logical explanation would be that it's a reflection from one of the television screens on the walls of the fine establishment. It would just be quite a coincidence that such a pissed-off face would be staring in my direction at exactly the moment that the photo was snapped; some might even say ironic.

Nicole and I are not taking this possible brush with the paranormal lightly. We are going back to Players' Club tonight to "investigate."

Monday, June 05, 2006




You can't make this stuff up.

Celeste flew out and left me last night. The sad reality is that we are highly unlikely to ever see each other again. She's going back to Texas, and I will soon be going back to Uganda. It was fun while it lasted.

Celeste introduced me to many things over the past 9 months. We shared many experiences. She's the type of girl who can get a man to say and do things he never imagined he would ever say or do. Honestly, Celeste, who talks like that? Celeste is the one who introduced me to the Samoan 8X t-shirt. They sell them at our favorite little shop on the island, J-Lynn Tees. Come on. Have you ever seen an 8X before? Did you ever know that they existed? I, honestly, did not even know that shirt sizes went above XXXL. To me that was plenty big. Well, this is Samoa, and there are quite a few 8Xers running around. Well, maybe not running. Could you imaging that? It is true that the 8Xer is not as common as the 6Xer (which itself is hella large).

At a bargain, you can purchase an 8XL t-shirt for only $12.95. I think that the shirts are being sold at a loss considering the amount of fabric needed to produce such a massive shirt. You could provide t-shirts for average-sized family of four with the amount of material it takes to produce one 8XL.

The 8XL t-shirt is a very handy item to have around the house because of its versatility. You can:
1. Use it as a spare bedsheet.
2. Make a tent from it if you need extra sleeping space outside.
3. Use it parachute from an upstairs window incase of fire.
4. Make a hell of a lot of dust rags.
5. Use it as a throw rug.

Be creative, and I bet you could come with you own unique use for the 8XL t-shirt. The list goes on and on.

I already miss you C.

Safe jouney.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Tony Snow does


want to hug the tar baby.

Hmmm. . .

I <3 Brer Rabbit!

But are references to Brer Rabbit stories, American plantation folklore, appropriate during a White House press conference? I'm just asking.

I would really like to watch Song of The South again just to see what all the fuss is about. I'd also like to take a ride of Splash Mountain. It's been a while.

Zip a dee doo dah!

Saturday, May 27, 2006


Sluts Songs are on Heavy Rotation

A real malaya is on the prowl.


What curse word do you use the most? Curse word? Who talks like that? Ok, since you've backed me into a corner, it's probably f@#k: the worst word ever (according to my mom).

Do you own an iPod? I own a little Shuffle that I love.

Who on your Myspace “Top 8” do you talk to the most? Nicole Gail. I live with the bitch.

What time is your alarm clock set for? 5:30am because I want to get up and go for an early-morning job. The reality is that I usually do not get my bootay off the sofa (I sold my bed already) until 6:30.

What color is your room? It is a sterile cream. Every room in the effin' place is the same color. How boring is that?

Flip flops or sneakers? I'm pretty opposed to flip-flops unless I'm using a public shower or at the beach.

Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? Be in the picture. Super Model Documentary Hour!!!

What was the last movie you watched? I'm proudly ashamed to admit that it was South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut. I wish I could say it was Reefer Madness, my present favorite.

Do any of your friends have children? Of course. Everyone is popping out babies.

Has anyone ever called you lazy? I've never heard anyone call me that. (Nicole, calling me that now does not count.)

Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster? Hell no! I HATE MEDICINE!!!

What CD is currently in your CD player? I don't own a CD player anymore. My Slut Songs playlist is currently being played.

Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? I prefer my milk like my lovers.

Has anyone told you a secret this week? Yes. Shocking.

Have you ever given someone a hickey? No. Hickeys are really gross.

Who was the last person to call you? The director of my school. (No, Nicole, calling me now as I type does not count.)

Do you think people talk about you behind your back? Absolutely. It's karma. I would not expect anything less.

Did you watch cartoons as a child? Yes. They profoundly influenced my development.

How many siblings do you have? Five.

Are you shy around the opposite sex? No.

What movie do you know every line to? Little Shop of Horrors, Rent, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Pike isn't a name. It's a fish).

Do you own any band t-shirts? I'm not into that BS.

What is your favorite salad dressing? I'm not inot that BS either. I prefer a nice sqeeze of lemon or lime.

Do you read for fun? Yes. However, I do it in spurts. Right now I'm in a slump.

Do you cry a lot? I never cry. I wish I did. I really need to. I think I'd feel better if I were to have a good cry. I try to make myself cry sometime, but I've not been successful.

Who was the last person to text message you? Kyazze.

Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? Laptop. I <3 my Mac.

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoo? I'm always wanting a piercing or tattoo.

What is the weather like? Windy and cool. That is surprising. Yesterday was the coolest day for me yet in American Samoa.

Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? Like every inch covered? Probably not. Not sexy. Lots of tattoos that are just black (I hate colored tattoos) that are well done on a nice body? Sho' nuff would.

Is sex before marriage wrong? Supercalafragalisticexbealadocious.

When was the last time you slept on the floor? August 2005. I moved into a new apartment before I bought a bed.

How many hours of sleep do you need to function? I usually get between five and six.

Are you in love or lust? LOVE!.

Are your days full and fast-paced? In American Samoa? Are you kidding me? Hopefully that will all end in a couple of weeks.

Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? Usually. I really look at percentage of calories from fat.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 31.

Are you picky about spelling and grammar? I would not say "picky." That would leave me wide open for hypocrisy and criticisim. I appreciate the craft of good grammar, and I try abide by the rules I know. I, however, believe that style is more important than being gramatically correct. My high school business teacher said it best, "Write to express not impress."

Have you ever been to Six Flags? Yes. Several times. The Georgia Cyclone is my favorite roller coaster anywhere.

Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex? My best friends have always been female.

Do you like Cottage Cheese? I don't dislike it, but I don't remember ever buying it.

Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back? It depends. I'm a switch sleeper.

Have you ever bid for something on eBay? Yes. I used to do it more in the late 90's.

Do you enjoy giving hugs? "Drugs are better than hugs"--Karen Walker. I've learned to appreciate a good hug. I used to shy away from them, but I actually look forward to them now, especially from my mother and best friends.

What song did you last sing out loud? Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado and Timbaland. I've got my Slut Songs playist going on iTunes.

What is your favorite TV show? Veronica Mars.

Which celebrity dead or alive would you want to have lunch with? Drew Barrymore. I <3 her.

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? When I told my employer last November that I was going to end my contract five months early to take a job in Uganda. I ended up staying. My contract ends in one week from today! I will be taking the position in Uganda; they held it for me.

What one thing do you wish you had? Less body hair? I don't know!

Favourite lyrics? It takes two to make a thing go right. It takes two to make it out of site. Of songs from both Seduction and Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock.

Cut it out.jpg

Friday, May 26, 2006


Yes, I'm a jack of all trades but a master of none. I can do sooooooo many things, but I don't do much very well. I've studied five languages, but I'd only say I speak two of them really well. One of them kinda well. I could get by with two of them if I were ever stranded in the country (or area of a country) where they are spoken. I've worked in diverse sectors like education, community development, customer care, and sales. I know tidbits of information about almost every subject. In the past ten years, I've lived in South America for two years, North American for four years, Africa for three years, and a Pacific Island for almost one year. My university transcript is a hodgepodge of courses of various subject areas from massage therapy to genetics of epilepsy. (Yes, I did finish a degree.) I pride myself on being well-rouned, but when it comes down to it, I don't know much about anything. Once in a job interview, the interviewer looked at my résumé and said, "You are too across the board." He advised me to focus on something. I've tried to do that. I really have. I cannot count the times I pick something I was going to focus on and become the world expert on it. If I ever began my pursuit to expert, it ended as soon as I found something better to do. That said, there are areas in which I excel. (Ya know what I mean. No complaints so far.) Let's add weaving palm fronts together to make a plate to my list of things I can do. . .

. . . sort of.