MELANCHOLY
That's my mood y'all

This has been a very pensive Sunday. It has been quite painful, physically and emotionally. I've had so many thoughts flying around my head, and at the same time, I've been suffering from a migraine for the past two days. My ass has been planted on the sofa for two days now, and I've slept more the past two days than I did the past week. The headaches left me feeling nauseated. I've also been frustrated because there was so much that I wanted to get done, but not having my eyes closed or my head pressed against the arm of the sofa would bring back the pain and sick feeling. Blah.

I got an email from my friend Leana today. I've not heard from here in a little over a year. She's in Lisbon right not. (I wish I were in Lisbon right now.) This has been a very tough year for her. She is an amazing woman with many talents, everyone is her friend, and she makes amazing cakes. (I love cake.) He world was turned upside down a couple of years ago, and it keeps flipping. She definitely is not where she ever planned to be at this point in her life. Her email did not sound so happy, and I really wish there were something I could do for her; however, I'm on an island in the South Pacific, and she is on the Iberian peninsula. My options are limited. I'll send her some positive thoughts now and a email later.

I also watched episode 20 of this season's Will & Grace. (Remember we get everything late down here.) It was the episode that they have Will's father's funeral. Season eight has not been the best one for Will & Grace, but there have been some great episodes, and this was one of them. It sucks to have someone close to you died. It really sucks to have someone close to you die when the last time you saw him, you said something unkind to him. There was a religious ad campaign on television back in the 80's that said, "If you love them, tell them." It was too corny for me at the time, but as I've gotten older and spent more and more time away from people whom I love very much, I've come to appreciate the importance of that simple message.

The month of May has come to be a time of change in my life. Big life changes have happened to me in May. Big (huge) and not always good. Sometimes really bad (awful). Maybe I should learn more about astrology and find out why this month holds so much significance to me. Maybe it's just coincidence

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Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around 'til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
How I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again

When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me
If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
'Cause I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again

Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
And I'd hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she's dying
To dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream

(April 20, 1951 – July 1, 2005)