araalinas: pray to your pagan gods

2006-06-16T19:36:00.000-11:00

That's right folks, araalinas is shuttin' down. (GASP!!! Oh, the horror!!!) Araali (me) is no longer n as (American Samoa).

I'M SHUTTIN' IT DOWN!!!

Movin' on.

The countdown is over.

I've flown the coop,

left the Rock.

It was good while it lasted, but now I'm past it.

At approximately 11:20pm on the 8th of June, I left American Samoa with no plans to return. As most of you already know, I've accepted a teaching position back in Uganda, where I taugh for three years before going to American Samoa. I've been a bit out of the loop for the past week, not having regular internet access. I spend the weekend in Hawaii, and now I'm back in rural North West Florida. As sad as it might sound, it is "home, sweet home." God, my visits home are never very sweet, but it is a necessary ritual: gotta see the family, gotta see the friends. I'm only setting up temporary camp in the panhandle. I'll be heading back to Africa sometime in July; I'm looking at the 10th.

I'm shutting down araalinas (GASP!!! Oh, the horror!!!). This blog is "dunzo," but I'm setting up a new blog to chronicle my Florida adventure, and then one to keep you posted on my goin' ons in Uganda.

I forever remain "araali," and you better believe that the prayers continue to be lifted up to the pagan gods. But are they payin' any attention?

araalinusa.blogspot.com

Check it out, y'all.

2006-06-07T23:38:00.000-11:00

PINK

is the new bod

Ouch! As a person who always wears sunscreen, I'm kicking myself. I fly out tomorrow night, and since I was recently asked by someone (who will remain nameless), "Is there no sun in Samoa?" I made an attempt to do something about the icky pasty color of my skin that normally is not exposed to the sun. In other words, I caved in to peer pressure, made an unhealthy decision, and exposed my skin to the harmful rays of the sun without protection.

Peer pressure's got a hold on you.
Peer pressure, it's the thing to do.
Peer pressure, what a strange energy.
Peer pressure, won't you set me free.

(Teen II: The Competition, sixth grade play, 1988)

Where is Cindy when I need her? I should've ignored the taunting of others and followed the advice of Cindy Crawford. Cindy, in her heyday as host of MTV's House of Stlye once pushed fake tans or being pale because she said everyone in the fashion industry knows how unhealthy real tans are. How could I forget the wisdon of Cindy?

What I hope is that by tomorrow, the pink will fade into a rich Coppertone tan.

A guy can dream.

Neglect to apply sunscreen... Never again.

2006-06-06T17:31:00.001-11:00

06-06-06

Have you ever had the feeling that you were being watched, or glowered at menacingly by a spooky face while your are out having a good time with you friends at a neighborhood hole-in-the-wall on a Friday night?

Well I have. Take a a look at that face that showed up in a photo taken of me at Players' Club last Friday night. She does not look very happy with me. Nicole noticed it and showed it to me on Saturday. It weirded me out a bit, but then I took a closer look last night, and I'm not convinced it's anything out of the ordinary. The logical explanation would be that it's a reflection from one of the television screens on the walls of the fine establishment. It would just be quite a coincidence that such a pissed-off face would be staring in my direction at exactly the moment that the photo was snapped; some might even say ironic.

Nicole and I are not taking this possible brush with the paranormal lightly. We are going back to Players' Club tonight to "investigate."

2006-06-05T22:08:00.000-11:00

8XL!

That's

XXXXXXXXL!

You can't make this stuff up.

Celeste flew out and left me last night. The sad reality is that we are highly unlikely to ever see each other again. She's going back to Texas, and I will soon be going back to Uganda. It was fun while it lasted.

Celeste introduced me to many things over the past 9 months. We shared many experiences. She's the type of girl who can get a man to say and do things he never imagined he would ever say or do. Honestly, Celeste, who talks like that? Celeste is the one who introduced me to the Samoan 8X t-shirt. They sell them at our favorite little shop on the island, J-Lynn Tees. Come on. Have you ever seen an 8X before? Did you ever know that they existed? I, honestly, did not even know that shirt sizes went above XXXL. To me that was plenty big. Well, this is Samoa, and there are quite a few 8Xers running around. Well, maybe not running. Could you imaging that? It is true that the 8Xer is not as common as the 6Xer (which itself is hella large).

At a bargain, you can purchase an 8XL t-shirt for only $12.95. I think that the shirts are being sold at a loss considering the amount of fabric needed to produce such a massive shirt. You could provide t-shirts for average-sized family of four with the amount of material it takes to produce one 8XL.

The 8XL t-shirt is a very handy item to have around the house because of its versatility. You can:

1. Use it as a spare bedsheet.
2. Make a tent from it if you need extra sleeping space outside.
3. Use it parachute from an upstairs window incase of fire.
4. Make a hell of a lot of dust rags.
5. Use it as a throw rug.

Be creative, and I bet you could come with you own unique use for the 8XL t-shirt. The list goes on and on.

I already miss you C.

Safe jouney.

2006-06-01T23:21:00.000-11:00

Tony Snow does

N-O-T

want to hug the tar baby.

Hmmm. . .

I <3 Brer Rabbit!

But are references to Brer Rabbit stories, American plantation folklore, appropriate during a White House press conference? I'm just asking.

I would really like to watch Song of The South again just to see what all the fuss is about. I'd also like to take a ride of Splash Mountain. It's been a while.

Zip a dee doo dah!

2006-05-27T21:25:00.000-11:00

WTF?

Sluts Songs are on Heavy Rotation

A real malaya is on the prowl.
(Purrrrrrr!)

What curse word do you use the most? Curse word? Who talks like that? Ok, since you've backed me into a corner, it's probably f@#k: the worst word ever (according to my mom).

Do you own an iPod? I own a little Shuffle that I love.

Who on your Myspace “Top 8” do you talk to the most? Nicole Gail. I live with the bitch.

What time is your alarm clock set for? 5:30am because I want to get up and go for an early-morning job. The reality is that I usually do not get my bootay off the sofa (I sold my bed already) until 6:30.

What color is your room? It is a sterile cream. Every room in the effin' place is the same color. How boring is that?

Flip flops or sneakers? I'm pretty opposed to flip-flops unless I'm using a public shower or at the beach.

Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? Be in the picture. Super Model Documentary Hour!!!

What was the last movie you watched? I'm proudly ashamed to admit that it was South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut. I wish I could say it was Reefer Madness, my present favorite.

Do any of your friends have children? Of course. Everyone is popping out babies.

Has anyone ever called you lazy? I've never heard anyone call me that. (Nicole, calling me that now does not count.)

Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster? Hell no! I HATE MEDICINE!!!

What CD is currently in your CD player? I don't own a CD player anymore. My Slut Songs playlist is currently being played.

Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? I prefer my milk like my lovers.

Has anyone told you a secret this week? Yes. Shocking.

Have you ever given someone a hickey? No. Hickeys are really gross.

Who was the last person to call you? The director of my school. (No, Nicole, calling me now as I type does not count.)

Do you think people talk about you behind your back? Absolutely. It's karma. I would not expect anything less.

Did you watch cartoons as a child? Yes. They profoundly influenced my development.

How many siblings do you have? Five.

Are you shy around the opposite sex? No.

What movie do you know every line to? Little Shop of Horrors, Rent, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Pike isn't a name. It's a fish).

Do you own any band t-shirts? I'm not into that BS.

What is your favorite salad dressing? I'm not inot that BS either. I prefer a nice sqeeze of lemon or lime.

Do you read for fun? Yes. However, I do it in spurts. Right now I'm in a slump.

Do you cry a lot? I never cry. I wish I did. I really need to. I think I'd feel better if I were to have a good cry. I try to make myself cry sometime, but I've not been successful.

Who was the last person to text message you? Kyazze.

Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? Laptop. I <3 my Mac.

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoo? I'm always wanting a piercing or tattoo.

What is the weather like? Windy and cool. That is surprising. Yesterday was the coolest day for me yet in American Samoa.

Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? Like every inch covered? Probably not. Not sexy. Lots of tattoos that are just black (I hate colored tattoos) that are well done on a nice body? Sho' nuff would.

Is sex before marriage wrong? Supercalafragalisticexbealadocious.

When was the last time you slept on the floor? August 2005. I moved into a new apartment before I bought a bed.

How many hours of sleep do you need to function? I usually get between five and six.

Are you in love or lust? LOVE!.

Are your days full and fast-paced? In American Samoa? Are you kidding me? Hopefully that will all end in a couple of weeks.

Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? Usually. I really look at percentage of calories from fat.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 31.

Are you picky about spelling and grammar? I would not say "picky." That would leave me wide open for hypocrisy and criticisim. I appreciate the craft of good grammar, and I try abide by the rules I know. I, however, believe that style is more important than being gramatically correct. My high school business teacher said it best, "Write to express not impress."

Have you ever been to Six Flags? Yes. Several times. The Georgia Cyclone is my favorite roller coaster anywhere.

Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex? My best friends have always been female.

Do you like Cottage Cheese? I don't dislike it, but I don't remember ever buying it.

Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back? It depends. I'm a switch sleeper.

Have you ever bid for something on eBay? Yes. I used to do it more in the late 90's.

Do you enjoy giving hugs? "Drugs are better than hugs"--Karen Walker. I've learned to appreciate a good hug. I used to shy away from them, but I actually look forward to them now, especially from my mother and best friends.

What song did you last sing out loud? Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado and Timbaland. I've got my Slut Songs playist going on iTunes.

What is your favorite TV show? Veronica Mars.

Which celebrity dead or alive would you want to have lunch with? Drew Barrymore. I <3 her.

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? When I told my employer last November that I was going to end my contract five months early to take a job in Uganda. I ended up staying. My contract ends in one week from today! I will be taking the position in Uganda; they held it for me.

What one thing do you wish you had? Less body hair? I don't know!

Favourite lyrics? It takes two to make a thing go right. It takes two to make it out of site. Of songs from both Seduction and Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock.

2006-05-26T17:18:00.000-11:00

Multi-Talented
Me.

Yes, I'm a jack of all trades but a master of none. I can do sooooooo many things, but I don't do much very well. I've studied five languages, but I'd only say I speak two of them really well. One of them kinda well. I could get by with two of them if I were ever stranded in the country (or area of a country) where they are spoken. I've worked in diverse sectors like education, community development, customer care, and sales. I know tidbits of information about almost every subject. In the past ten years, I've lived in South America for two years, North American for four years, Africa for three years, and a Pacific Island for almost one year. My university transcript is a hodgepodge of courses of various subject areas from massage therapy to genetics of epilepsy. (Yes, I did finish a degree.) I pride myself on being well-rouned, but when it comes down to it, I don't know much about anything. Once in a job interview, the interviewer looked at my résumé and said, "You are too across the board." He advised me to focus on something. I've tried to do that. I really have. I cannot count the times I pick something I was going to focus on and become the world expert on it. If I ever began my pursuit to expert, it ended as soon as I found something better to do. That said, there are areas in which I excel. (Ya know what I mean. No complaints so far.) Let's add weaving palm fronts together to make a plate to my list of things I can do. . .

. . . sort of.

2006-05-23T20:18:00.000-11:00

Good Lord!

The rubbish you can find on the net these days.
Scary. Very Scary.

The thought of my hand on the back of Tom Cruise's head... is that bad.

Katie Holmes's dress color does not look good on me.

All around, I'd say this is not a flattering photo. I'm appalled.

My dear roommate and friend, Nicole, appears to have:

a) too much time on her hands

b) an unhealthy obsession with Tom Cruise

and

c) no fashion sense.

(Click on links for proof of allegations.)

Yes, my friends, it appears that I'm Tom's new brainwashed bitch. I swear to you though, no matter how much medication they put me on, I will not have his baby. Or L. Ron Hubbard's for that matter. No. No. NO.

In other news...

He's got a

ticket to ride II

Ok, so I did not know that my friend, with whom I'll be visiting, did not live on Oahu, but Maui. (Yeah, yeah. I know.) I had to buy an additional ticket. Now, my friends, I'll be heading to Maui on the 9th of June. Yay!!! I'm going to spend a long weekend there, and then it's off to Florida on the 12th. Woe is me. Life is so difficult.

2006-05-21T21:51:00.000-11:00

"Natalie Maines is

one of those

people born

middle

finger

first."

"Just so you know, we're ashamed the President of the United States is from Texas," Maines 2003.

"I apologized for disrespecting the office of the president [in 2003]. But I don't feel that way anymore. I don't feel he is owed any respect whatsoever," Maines 2006.

Out 23rd May, y'all!

2006-05-21T19:19:00.000-11:00

MELANCHOLY
That's my mood y'all

This has been a very pensive Sunday. It has been quite painful, physically and emotionally. I've had so many thoughts flying around my head, and at the same time, I've been suffering from a migraine for the past two days. My ass has been planted on the sofa for two days now, and I've slept more the past two days than I did the past week. The headaches left me feeling nauseated. I've also been frustrated because there was so much that I wanted to get done, but not having my eyes closed or my head pressed against the arm of the sofa would bring back the pain and sick feeling. Blah.

I got an email from my friend Leana today. I've not heard from here in a little over a year. She's in Lisbon right not. (I wish I were in Lisbon right now.) This has been a very tough year for her. She is an amazing woman with many talents, everyone is her friend, and she makes amazing cakes. (I love cake.) He world was turned upside down a couple of years ago, and it keeps flipping. She definitely is not where she ever planned to be at this point in her life. Her email did not sound so happy, and I really wish there were something I could do for her; however, I'm on an island in the South Pacific, and she is on the Iberian peninsula. My options are limited. I'll send her some positive thoughts now and a email later.

I also watched episode 20 of this season's Will & Grace. (Remember we get everything late down here.) It was the episode that they have Will's father's funeral. Season eight has not been the best one for Will & Grace, but there have been some great episodes, and this was one of them. It sucks to have someone close to you died. It really sucks to have someone close to you die when the last time you saw him, you said something unkind to him. There was a religious ad campaign on television back in the 80's that said, "If you love them, tell them." It was too corny for me at the time, but as I've gotten older and spent more and more time away from people whom I love very much, I've come to appreciate the importance of that simple message.

The month of May has come to be a time of change in my life. Big life changes have happened to me in May. Big (huge) and not always good. Sometimes really bad (awful). Maybe I should learn more about astrology and find out why this month holds so much significance to me. Maybe it's just coincidence

__________________________________________________

Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around 'til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
How I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again

When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me
If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
'Cause I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again

Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
And I'd hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she's dying
To dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream

(April 20, 1951 – July 1, 2005)

2006-05-19T10:43:00.000-11:00

Today my mood is Pink

I cannot say that I've ever been a huge Pink fan. I can sing along to most of her songs, and she can definitely get my bootay on the dance floor. However, I don't own any of her music. (Her first cd, Can't Take Me Home, was pretty good. But the cover art? When I saw it, I swore to myself that I would never contaminate my cd collection with anything so ridiculous. Yeah, I judge books by their covers too.)

I don't usually use my blog as a political platform. I don't rant about being a heartless conservative nor a tree-hugging liberal. I don't recall if I've ever addressed any specific issues on my blog; however, I do not suffer from lack of opinion. Maybe I will post a diatribe one day if the mood hits me, but that's not my mood nor the mood of my blog today.

Anyone who has personally spoken to me and has taken the time to get to know me even a little knows about my hopes, my frustrations and my fears. I'm a simple fella with a lot on his mind.

All that said, I'm going to bring both Pink and politics to my blog, Pinkpolitics. (Humor me.) I think that she is right on with this one, and it's a pretty good song.

Dear Mr. President
Come take a walk with me
Let's pretend we're just two people and
You're not better than me
I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep
What do you feel when you look in the mirror
Are you proud

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
How do you walk with your head held high
Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why

Dear Mr. President
Were you a lonely boy
Are you a lonely boy
Are you a lonely boy
How can you say
No child is left behind
We're not dumb and we're not blind
They're all sitting in your cells
While you pay the road to hell

What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay

I can only imagine what the first lady has to say
You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
How do you walk with your head held high
Can you even look me in the eye

Let me tell you bout hard work
Minimum wage with a baby on the way
Let me tell you bout hard work
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away
Let me tell you bout hard work
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
You don't know nothing bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
Oh

How do you sleep at night
How do you walk with your head held high
Dear Mr. President
You'd never take a walk with me
Would you

2006-05-18T21:20:00.000-11:00

This my friends...

is a plane ticket!!!

(At least it is the receipt for my e-ticket to Hawaii. Just as good.)

Nicole picked it up for me from the travel agent. International flights only leave the island two nights per week, Thursday and Sunday. Hawaiian Air is the only carrier. This means they can charge whatever the hell they want and treat their passengers however the hell they please. We have no choice but to fly with them. I guess because American Samoa is only a US Territory, they can treat it as either a domestic or international destination depending on which is more convenient for them. When it comes to the baggage allowance, they treat it like a domestic destination, and passengers are only allowed 50 pounds per piece of luggage. However, if you want to book a one-way flight on-line, good luck. American Samoa is considered an "international destination" for that, so on-line booking is not allowed: hence the travel agent mentioned above.

The good news is I'm leaving this island on the 8th of June, only 21 days from the time of this entry! I'm still trying to work out my plans for what I'm going to do once I reach Hawaii. Right now, the idea is to fly on over to Maui to visit a friend I've not seen in y.e.a.r.s. We've kept in touch with the occasional email, but it will be so fantastic to sit and talk with him face to face. We were housemates my freshman year at university way back in 1994. He was a tremendous friend who positively influenced me and helped me have a great first-year experience at FSU. It is funny the people we end up maintaining contact with and those who drift away.

I'm so ready to jump ship. Right now.

Wrap it up!

2006-05-16T21:00:00.000-11:00

"Kick coin slot

dryness

to the curb!"

Hey! How'd that get there?

The side of my coin slot got a little graffitied last night. I've toyed with the idea of a tattoo for years, and I've gone back and forth. I remember very distinctly making the decision one after noon in 1997 as I cut across the field by the Leach Center at FSU campus to never get a tattoo. I am not the same person I was in 1997 in many ways. I'm quite more fond of the me now.

I love the Samoan tattoo designs. Getting a tattoo was something that I really wanted to do before I left. I put it off and put it off until I had to make a decision. I'm glad I finally did it. I like it a lot. My mom is going to cry when she sees this. (I love you!) I designed it myself. I wanted a sun (U r my Sunshine!) with triangle rays. (When I'm stuck with a day that's grey and lonely, I just stick out my chin and grin and say: "The sun'll come out tomorrow, so you gotta hang on 'til tomorrow come what may...") I told the artist to just "Do yo' thang!" in the center, make it Samoan. It is b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l. What is not beautiful is the hair I have grown at the base of my back.

(Back hair = Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!)

GROSS! I've never really paid attention to that area. I really need to wax.

I can be such a baby sometimes. Just ask Celeste. Just asked the guy who gave me the tattoo. (By the way, when I said that "I told him..." to do something, I mean that I communicated it the best way I could. He really did not speak English, and I know no Samoan.) They laughed and laughed. No, I did not cry and cry or scream, moan or groan while being tattooed. I did however tell him to turn off the machine every time he switched it on, and I could hear it whirr. It was on and off three times. I had no idea what it would feel like, and I expected the worst, and hearing the motor scared the @#$% out of me. When I finally took in a deep breath and let him go, it was not that bad, just irritating.

Of course, now I'm paranoid of doing something wrong with caring for it as it heals and it looking like poo. I'm doing what I can and taking advice from those in the know. Getting it done was like lifting a weight off of my shoulders. I'm very happy.

Peace out coin slot dryness!

______________________________________________

For other Linsay Lohan news, check out this link: firecrotch

2006-05-15T23:30:00.000-11:00

Lazy Lilly

I cannot have another week like last week. I just could not make myself log into blogger and post. It was not that I was uninspired. I had so many things going round in my head that needed to come out, but I just did not have the motivation to spill. I don't like to miss a day without posting, and I'm sure that on lazy days I could just post the results to yet another quiz (which I'll do later), but I don't want my blog to turn into that. There is nothing wrong with posting quiz results (yes, another on is coming), but that is not the direction in which I want my blog to head. I first started my blog to keep the folks at home posted on my where abouts and experiences. That got boring. This year, I decided that I wanted to use my blog as a creative outlet. Instead of it being just a summary of my life, I wanted to express some of my thoughts, ideas, a perspective on anything that caught my interest. Yes, this is the evolution of my randomness.

Ok. Now it is time for the quiz results. This goes our to all the "fraters" out there:

Which Mean Girls Character Are you? (girlz)

Karen Smith
Your a SLUT!

(Can anyone use an apostrophe correctly? Yet another apostrophe catastrophe.)

Your "frenemy,"

Timothy

Speaking of Amanda Seyfried, my Mean Girls counterpart, Nicole and I began watching Veronica Mars from episode one yesterday. We are digging into those old Lilly Kane wounds and lovin' it.

2006-05-14T22:38:00.000-11:00

Tugende Kuzina!

Friday's Samoan Arts Festival inspired this week's reason I am happy to be moving back to Uganda: Music Festivals! That time of year is fast approaching. I will make it to Uganda in time to witness the primary schools' music festivals for 2006. Yay!

These were my kids!

Praise my pagan gods!

2006-05-14T14:34:00.000-11:00

Get Yo' Dance On!

CRAZY, CRAZY, CRAZY

That is the best way to sum up the last week. On Friday, my school had it's annual Samoan Arts Festival. FUN, FUN, FUN. That is what it was, but it required a lot of WORK, WORK, WORK, energy, patience, and humor. My class has been working hard for the past couple of months to prepare for it.

I might've mentioned before that I am with my students all day everyday. Amy Grant once sang, "Why do I have to wear so many things on my hear? Hats!" I can feel the ache of her muscles and tiredness in her bones. I teach everything. Everything. Not only that, but I'm the PE coach (Go ahead, laugh. Ok. Stop now.), I'm the lunchroom attendant (Lunch is in the classroom.), and most recently I became the dance instructor. I'll laugh with you here: Ha! Ha! Ha! I do what I have to do. Early March, I knew nothing at all about Samoan dance. Middle of May, I've coached my class through three dances, arranged for costumes to be made, located props, and avoided comitting any serious cultural faux pas that offended the Samoan audience.

Samoa is a place for experienctial learning. Read Fay Calkin's book, My Samoan Chief. Many things are different today, but some things will probably never change in Samoa. Why should they? Why make the place any less special. People sometimes just assume that you just know things. Now I know that is not a purely Samoa trait (read The Devil Wears Prada), but trial by fire seems to be the rule rather than the exception on our little island. You'd think I'd finally learn and get used to it, but it just comes as a shock when you think you've done everything correctly and a parent approaches you with a look of horror oh her face an tells you that you are about to make a huge mistake that will offend the real Samoan members of the audience. I give my sincere gratitude to people watching out for me and who have my back. My humble request is to warn me about potential critical errors sooner than immediately before I make them. HEART ATTACK. This past year, I have really fine tuned my "think-on-your-toes" ability. A problem comes along, and I just pull a solution out of my rear. I'm amazed at what is up there. As I mentioned before, I survived the program with no major cultural faux pas.

On Friday night, not only did my students do well, they were f-a-b-u-l-o-u-s!

We were number 2 on the program. Zack tried to give me a real heart attack by showing up 20 minutes late with an essential prop for our perfomance: a kava bowl.

The kava bowl was the center piece for our ava ceremony. The ava ceremony is a very important part of Samoan culture. Davalynn played the role of Taupou to prepare the ava for the chiefs.

After the Guppies (pre-school class) performed their tauluga,

my kids were up again for the final two dances of their program. I'm not sure how we lucked up to have all of our performances so early in the program, but that allowed me to enjoy the rest of the show. When one of my hyper-active students was acting up, I could say to myself, "Let it go. His mother's here. He's her responsibility tonight." The second of our three dances was our group performance. It was a quick tempo dance that included both the boys and girls.

Aren't their lava lavas and puletasis fantastic? Thanks Caroline for you contributions!

Kimberley was so graceful, and Quinn was right on.

Teresa was our class taupou, and Kirstan was her manaia. The Adventurers class gave the tauluga performance of the night. They were so into it. Teresa became a star on the stage and gave her best perfomance yet.

Thanks again, Caroline, for saving me again.

Maybe I'm a little biased, but doesn't Kirstan make the cutest manaia you've ever seen. Are manaias supposed to be cute. I think so. (I cannot believe I'm throwing around the word cute so easily, like it's not a word that evokes nausea. Sorry.)

Every class had a performance, and this led to a long program, but not as long as you might expect. I was a little disappointed in the parents who bailed after their child's performance. Inappropriate.

Finishing off the evening were the female teachers.

I was not allowed to perform. It was not descrimination. They were just afraid that my mad dancing skills would make them look bad by comparison. I understand that. It's hard to be on stage with a superstar when you're only a dim flash light.

A special shout-out

Leti, the graceful miracle worker.
Isn't she hot, y'all?

Friday night would have sucked big time if it were not for Leti. She pulled off a miracle for Pacific Horizons School. Leti was was my classes choreographer. She also choreographed almost all of the other dances that were perfomed that night. She is amazing. Creative and patient. She also served as our cultural advisor and creative consultant. Creative and knowledgeable. She whipped my girls into shape, taught me everything I know, found our music, trained our special dances, and managed to teach her pre-school class. Amazing.

Bye y'all!

2006-05-14T12:25:00.000-11:00

PRIMARY COLORS

are

1

2

3

red

yellow

and

blue

This is one more photo from my Easter weekend trip to paradise (a.k.a. Samao). I am so ready for for another break. SCHOOL'S OUT IN THREE WEEKS! If you look at my side bar, you will notice I've added a count down clock ticking down the seconds until I fly out of here on the 8th of June. Oh my pagan gods! I've got so much to do. Fun, tedious, tiresome, exciting, expensive, no money, chaotic, organized, scary, exciting.

Paradoxical life o' mine.

2006-05-10T21:22:00.000-11:00

Finally, I was able to watch the season finale of Veronica Mars. (No UPN on the rock) It was so WOW! I was blown away, shocked, and wanted to cry. It evoked so many emotions. What's going to happen next season? I cannot wait.

What was up with the graduation scene, though? The gymnasium was empty. I know they have a budget to film the show, so they probably could not afford too many extras, but it just seemed so unrealistic. Speaking of graduation: Wasn't Lamb a real D-I-C-K? Can someone really be so cold hearted, full of himself and despicable at the same time? Is that really necessary? Karma can be a real bitch.

I'm sure the LoVe fans were very pleased with the way things turned out. I, for one, am not a LoVe fan. I've said it before, I'm saying it now, and I'll say it again. Blah, blah, blah.

What the hell did Beaver do with Mac's clothes?

2006-05-09T22:14:00.000-11:00

Which Disney Princess Are You?

Aurora

You're a tired old thing aren't you? We first came under Aurora's spell in Sleeping Beauty (1959)

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Mr. Sleepyhead!

2006-05-09T21:40:00.000-11:00

Freedom!

Walking out of this ominous lookin door yesterday evening marked the end of the course work for my teacher certification.

Yay me!

I'm so relieved to have that out of my way. It's like an enormous weight being lifted off my shoulders.

Now I have the paperwork and bureaucracy of the department of education to look forward to.

Fun times.

2006-05-07T21:01:00.000-11:00

Make Everyday a

Nile Special Day

Ugandan's love their brew. They tend to be very proud of the beers they produce, both locally and commercially.

I am not, in any shape, form or fashion, a beer connoiseur. My great friend, Charles (Remember him?), was always a Nile Special man. You would not find another beer would crossing his lips. If he were to go out somewhere and find that they were out of Nile, he would either go to some other place or not drink at all that night. Imagine my shock today when he emailed me and told me that he'd given up Nile Special for, of all things, Smirnoff Ice.

The reason I am happy this week to be returning to Uganda is not the Ugandan brewed beers, it is the slogans and radio jingles for Ugandan brewed beer. Here's a little taste:

I've already introduced you to the Nile Special slogan: "Make everyday a Nile Special day." Another one is "Brewed at the source." (The brewery is just by the source of the Nile River at Lake Victoria.) A commercial for this beer can be found playing on the radio at any given time.

My friend Arthur was a Club drinker. The jingle for this beer had me confused for a long time. I could not figure out what they were singing. The singers were repeating, "Club Beer, Club Beer, Club Beer," but because of the singers' accents, to an untrained ear, it sounded like "Latvia, Latvia, Latvia."

Bell is probably the most popular beer of all. It's "Great night. Good morning." slogan implies that you can drink your fill and not worry about waking up with a hangover the next morning. This has attracted a huge following. David swung back and forth between Club and Bell depending on how long he was going to stay out and how long he would have to sleep-in the next morning.

Good night everyone. Have a great Monday morning.

2006-05-07T12:51:00.000-11:00

There comes a time to...

JUST SAY NO!

I made a startling discovery on Friday in the refrigerated section of the supermarket tucked in between the V8 and V8 Splash.

Grass Jelly Drink

No!

I am the person who blogged about the need to put stuff in his mouth, but... No! I've drawn the line. I mean, look at the picture on the can.

Throwing up in your mouth yet?

It's jelly! In a can! Made from grass! And they are promoting the use of a bendy straw to drink it. Classy.

Just when I thought it could not get any worse,

grass jelly drink also comes in banana flavor. I like bananas. By. Themselves. I truly hate anything banana flavored: popsicles, pudding, Laffy Taffy, grass jelly drink.

So you should never put bananas in the refrigerator!

Or in grass jelly drink.

2006-05-04T23:43:00.000-11:00

(Cough! Cough! Cough!)

I sick.

Something is going around on the island. The list of absentees is incredible each morning. My kids never miss class, and I've had at least one student absent everyday this week. Yesterday there were three, today two. Celeste only had four students show up for class this morning. I, myself, am not "sick", but I've really felt like "crap" two days this week. The odd thing is that the days were not consecutive. This leads me to believe that I'm a bit sick in the head.

Today was the worst day teaching this semester. I felt so out of it. I'm usually good at putting on a good face and faking it when I'm not in the zone, but today, the kids knew. I felt so lethargic today. I was even a bit dizzy at times. Tuesday it was a headache, and I thought I had a fever for a while. I took my temperature... nothing. My theory is that my body knows that the end is near, and it feels like I've put in enough hours and effort, and it is trying to shut down. Only four more weeks to go after tomorrow. I must plow on.

Having so many students absent makes it difficult to conduct class. I don't want to start anything entirely new, and we do a lot of group work, so when many students are out, it interferes with the progress of the group as a whole. Children missing school is a bit frustrating. Ugh!

Enough about that.

Maybe I should get sick. I've not taken a sick day yet, and I have six personal days in reserve. Hmmm...

If I were sick, I wish that I had a perky, rich drunk to take care of me.

Instead, the lush I'm stuck with only wants feel me up and dance for her in a leopard print thong. The price we pay for sugar mommies.

(Cough! Cough! Cough! )

I sick.

2006-05-03T20:57:00.000-11:00

Sushi. Yum.

Yes, my friends, we made sushi in class today. Yes, we; that includes me. I've been a fan of sushi for years. (This might sound gross, but in North Florida, where I'm from, there is a supermarket chain called Publix, and they sell sushi in the fresh fish area of the store. I <3 supermarke sushi from Publix. Anyway, it's the South, and we love us some mayonnaise. Yes, (gasp!) they put some kind of mayo concoction in the middle of the sushi rolls at Publix on 23rd Street in Panama City, and I must admit that it is tasty. Whatever sells, right?) However, until today, I'd only eaten sushi prepared by others.

In my class, the third day of the school week is known as Wellness Wednesday. We dedicate this day to being well and healthy. (Only one day per week. GO BODY!!! YAY!) On this day, the kids are not allowed to bring to school anything resembling junk food. No chips at lunch, no cookies at break. I am quite the drill sergeant at PE, and today we had a great discussion on puberty and body changes. The best part about Wellness Wednesdays is that we learn how to prepare a nutritious snack in class, and the best part of doing is that we eat whatever we make. This has been a great idea this quarter in school, and it has improved parent involvment with the class. Some weeks students' parents come out and help with the snacks! In past weeks, we've made two types of smoothies, kim and rice, potato salad, and this week we made sushi.

As I mentioned before, I had never made sushi. I've wanted to learn how to prepare it for quite some time, so today was a terrific opportunity for me. The roles of teacher and students were reversed this morning because some of my students were much more experienced than I in the art of rollling sushi. I allowed a couple of my resident food artists to take control, and they coached me through the contruction of a not-so-perfect, kind-of-scrawny but tasty roll of sushi. Then the kids took turns rolling sushi until the ingredients ran out. It was so much fun and a good learning experience for me, a good learning experience or all (except for maybe Kirstan who is pictured above seated at the table with his head down looking like he is dying. He was not feeling too well today but would not hear of going home. Poor thing.)

Like I said, the best part of preparing nutritious snacks at school is that we get to eat what we make. Yum! We made our snack a little later than usual today which was probably a good thing. It spoiled most of our appetites for lunch. Guess who caters our school lunches on Wellness Wednesday. KFC.

Isn't it ironic?

Don't ya think?

2006-05-01T21:29:00.000-11:00

I <3 Kristen Bell

Even though I only caught my first glimpse of her last August, I don't know what I'd do without her now.

My infatuation is unnatural.

Being in Uganda, I missed the whole first season of Veronica Mars. I'll forever be indebted to Nicole for letting me borrow the entire first season. I was hooked from episode one. Since the third grade and Nancy Drew, I've had a soft spot for a teenage sleuth. At the time, I'd just learned what the world slut meant, and I had never heard of a sleuth. I remember reading Nancy Drew, and for some reason, I assumed that sleuth = slut. I could not understand how Nancy's father approved of her slutting. I thought he was very progressive and on his way to hell.

But I digress...

My love for Kristen goes beyond Veronica Mars. Reefer Madness anyone?

Ok, I'll confess. When Nicole first tried to introduce me to V, I was not very interested. The school year had just begun, and I just did not have time to sit down and get interested in a new television show that would suck me in. I'm a tv adict. One minute is too much, and 16 hours is not enough. It was not until after I watched Reefer Madness that I decided to check out Veronica Mars. Kristen's performance as Mary Lane is stand out; she was perfectly cast. Who knew she could dance and sing so well? Maybe it was the whole S & M scene that did it for me... Maybe.

I finally saw Kristen's perfomance from last year's Emmy awards today. Yes, today. Once again, I was without television when it aired, and I could not get it to download for a while, then I forgot about it.

KB perfoming the themesong from one of my favorite movie musicals, now that almost made me lose my testicles in the sofa. Look how colorful they are! Fun times!

So Kristen has a new feature film coming soon.

Horror flick. Recipe for disaster. You bet I'll be seeing it.

She co-stars with that Boone guy from lost. I would want to be killed off a show, too, if it meant that I could co-star in a film with Kristen Bell. Get this: the film also co-stars Christina Milian! Dr. Dre's new squeeze. She was the girl in Be Cool. She also did some film with Nick Cannon a few years ago, and last year she had a huge international hit Dip It Low (Pop! Pop! Pop that thang! I'ma show ya how ta make yo man say, "Ohh!").

The last person I such a crush on left her fabulous career as a goddess to become a truck driver and got knocked up by some wifebeater wearin' punk who thinks he's a rapper. I pray that Kristen will be wiser and stick around for a long time. I'm getting to old to seek after new crushes.

2006-04-30T20:37:00.000-11:00

Oh, Bulindi!

Bulindi was my home for three years. I lived in the village of Kyhambia; Bulindi was the name of the parish. Bulindi is part of Hoima District on the western side of Uganda. Hoima District borders on Lake Albert that borders on the Democratic Republic of Congo.

I am still quite attached to Bulindi and keep regular contact with many for my friends and family there. I have never been so well cared-for and accepted in my life as I was in Bulindi. The community adopted me as their own. At least three men considered themselves my adopted father, and twice that many women considered me their son. It was nice to have so many people concerned about my well-being. I never felt a need for anything. My physical necessities were always taken care of: food would be brought, water fetched, grass cut. I could always count on friendly visits and good conversation. I truly felt like a member of the community.

I knew my way around Bulindi very well, discovered most shortcuts and cut a few of my own. No matter how often I took a walk in the evenings, I was always amazed of the view in the horizon: the rolling hills of green cut by deep red clay roads, the thick forests with black and white colobus monkeys spying above, women and children working in field after field of peanuts, beans, sweet potatoes and corn.

My daily routine included going to the shop across the road from the school's compound. I went there for supplies as much as I went there for social interaction. The barbershop is where I could count on learning all the village gossip: Who was afflicted by witchcraft? Which corrupt politician was trying to rob a poor villager of his land? One of my best barbershop memories is sitting, waiting for a hair cut. There were two other people waiting on a bench across from my chair. We were all in a "ho-hum" mood; everyone was quiet, staring at the floor. On the radio, a familiar tune came on. It was "Born to Make You Happy" by Britney Spears. Intantaneously, the mood of the salon changed. Toes began to tap, faces lit up, and before the 4 minutes and 5 seconds of the song had passed, every person in the room was singing the chorus. It was a scene right out of a musical production. The POWER OF POP!!!

Being near Bulindi, my village, and the people who became my family is this week's reason I am happy to be moving back to Uganda. I will not be living in that region of the country. I'll be working in the capital city of Kampala, Central Region, but Uganda is a small country, and I'll be able to visit any weekend I feel the need. Yay!

_______________________________________

Palagi Beach

(My favorite beach on the island)

All the good beaches in American Samoa take effort to reach. You must hike up and down hills, scale the sides of ciffs, climb rocks and wade through the ocean; however, the beaches are usually well worth the effort.

The first time I went to Palagi Beach, I was not prepared for the journey, and it wore me out. Now it is my favorite beach to visit. It's quiet, clean, has places to dive and explore the reef, there is a cliff over a deep pool where you can jump, there's a cave; it's just a neat place. In fact, it is one of easiest beaches to reach. The journey to and from the beach is now a piece of cake.

Going to Palagi Beach is an activity that I will greatly miss when I move away from American Samoa.

I was inspired by the coconut trees today. They brought me thoughts of Britney and Herb Ritts in Miami.

Here is my tribute to Brit:

Don't, don't let me be the last to know
Don't hold back, just let it go
I need to hear you say
You need me all the way
Oh, if you love me so
Don't let me be the last to know

2006-04-29T23:12:00.000-11:00

Compatability

We go together!

But do we?

This is what I recently discovered about my personality.

I'm a generally unf#ckwitted, liberal, tight as f#ck, relatively well adjusted human being!
See how compatible you are with me!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Are you surprised? I found out that I'm 93% compatible with my roommate Nicole. She's such a hag.

How compatible are we? Take the test. Find out.

2006-04-27T23:21:00.000-11:00

The verdict is in...

How evil are you?
And I'm proud of it.

I knew something was up with all of the bad karma coming back at me.

So to all you suckas who thought I was a nice guy, I had you fooled. HA, HA, HA (Imagine Vincent Price on Thriller)!!!

On a truly somber note...

I received an email today from Mr. Kato in Uganda, and he informed me that Harriet's huband, Doreen's dad, passed away. They buried him two weeks ago. Harriet and Doreen were my next-door neighbors at the school where I worked for three years in Uganda. (Doreen has starred in a couple of my blog entries.)

They were fantastic folks and a beautiful family.

I am heartbroken.

I announed the sad news I received today to my class, and my students asked me why I did not take the day off from school. Aren't they not the sweetest bunch of kids?

Hatcher out.

2006-04-26T21:04:00.000-11:00

Is it too
early to begin
writing one's
Christmas list?

Sure, it's only April, but next week it will be May, and before you realize it, it will be December once again.

What's got me pondering such a deep question? Like I'm not always pondering deep questions. It's what I do.

I was listening to my iPod today that I randomly loaded from my Britney Spears playlist. One of the gems that happen to load was her 2000 contibution to Platinum Christmas: My Only Wish (This Year). I <3 this song. I was dancing around the kitchen this afternoon singing, thinking about what I would wish for this year.

Santa, can you hear me?

Oh yeah

Last night I took a walk in the snow
Couples holding hands, places to go
Seems like everyone but me is in love
Santa can you hear me?

I signed my letter that I sealed with a kiss
I sent it off, and it just said this:
I know exactly what I want this year
Santa can you hear me?
I want my baby, baby
I want someone to love me, someone to hold
Maybe, baby
He'll be all my own in a big red bow

Santa can you hear me?
I have been so good this year
and all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is near
He's all I want, just for me
Underneath my Christmas tree
I'll be waiting here
Santa, that's my only wish this year

Oh yeah...yeah

Christmas eve, I just can't sleep
Would I be wrong in taking a peek?
Cuz I heard that you're coming to town
Santa can you hear me?

I really hope that you're on your way
With something special for me in your sleigh
Oh please make my wish come true
Santa can you hear me?
I want my baby, baby
I want someone to love me, someone to hold
Maybe, baby
We'll be all alone, under the mistletoe

Santa can you hear me?
I have been so good this year
And all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is near
He's all I want, just for me
Underneath my Christmas tree
I'll be waiting here
Santa, that's my only wish this year

I hope my letter reaches you in time (oh yeah)
Bring me a love I can call all mine (oh yeah)
Cuz I have been so good this year (oh)
I can't be alone under the mistletoe...
He's all I want in a big red bow

Santa can you hear me?
I have been so good this year
And all I want is one thing (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Tell me my true love is near
He's all I want, just for me
Underneath my Christmas tree
I'll be waiting here (oh yeah)
Santa, that's my only wish this year

Ahh...Oh Santa, can you hear me, oh, oh Santa
Well he's all I want, just for me
Underneath my Christmas tree
I'll be waiting here (oh yeah)
Santa that's my only wish this year

Santa that's my only wish this year

The 25th of December holds a special place in my heart for a reason that has nothing to do with the birth of the little baby Jesus.

baby, baby

I'll just keep my wish to myself for a while. I don't won't to jinx it.

Change of topic:

Wasn't Britney so much cuter before she lost her job as a stripper, became a truck driver, then got knocked up by some unemployed dude wearing a wife beater?

I want my Britney back in a BIG RED BOW.

2006-04-25T21:21:00.000-11:00

International Fair

At

Pacific Horizons School

I am so tired, but all the hard work paid off ten fold tonight. My students did a fantastic job putting on the first International fair at Pacific Horizons School. It was a beautiful occasion. I am so proud of their achievement.

We have a very diverse student population at our school, and tonight was our chance to celebrate diversity and learn more about each other and a few places in between.

Africa was there, and we got a taste of Benin.

The Asia booth represented Taiwan, Philippines, China and Korea.

The Aussie students did a great job displaying Australia.

Europe was snazzy and full of attitude.

North America showed us the USA and Mexico.

The Pacific Islands booth went all out. I was quite impressed with the effort and creativity these students put into their display. Not only that, but aren't they the cutest bunch of kids?

I saved the best for last. I teamed up with students creating the the South America booth. We focussed on the countries of Peru, Brazil and Argentina. We served coffee and herva mate. These two students were a pleasure to work closely with. We succeeded in putting together a really colorful, informative booth. I <3 Latin America.

My favorite innovation of the night...

Egg crate Mancala!

I L-O-V-E it.

What a great idea! I'm definitely stealing that idea.

Where's my photo? Alas, I was the photog tonight, and I never ended up on the other side of the camera. Too bad. I was damn sexy in my sexy jeans.

2006-04-24T18:12:00.000-11:00

Ugliest Sign in American

Samoa...

...Possibly the World.

Tradewinds Hotel, the biggest, nicest hotel on the island and owned by one of the richest families on the island. Couldn't the they get a better sign. What's up with the blue arrown pointing you towards the left but down? Is that indicating that the hotel is to the left and on the gound? Thanks for making that clear. The last time I stayed in a hotel not on the ground, I get a little motion sick from all of the bobbing.

The Clarion Hotel sign makes me think of Miss Saigon for some reason.

Maybe I'm confused.

What the hell are these?

They look like a couple of dead shrubs to me. Imagine: On a day with hurricane-force winds, they spin. YIPPY!

The part of the sign that I don't have a problem with

Black and white. Simple. Inviting.

Welcome to Ottoville.

My feelings exactly.

2006-04-23T22:46:00.004-11:00

Kids With Knives

This week, the reason I am happy to be returning to Uganda is that kids bringing knives to school is a good thing. When the children would bring knives to school in my village, it meant that there was going to be a special celebration that included food, and there was a pile of matooke (green bananas) that needed to be peeled.

I remember seeing my neighbor's three year old son running around their yard with a big knive the first week I moved to Bulindi. I was concerned, so I walked over and took the knive from him and found his mother to return the knive and let her know that her little boy had found it and was playing with it. She looked a bit confused. I walked back over to my house, and I watch her give the knife back to him. I had a lot to learn.

For a Ugandan child, learning to use a knife is a life skill that is acquired at a very young age. Many of the foods that they eat must be peeled: matooke, sweet potatoes, cassava, Irish potatoes, yams. Young people are the ones who often are responsible for food preparation, so the children are helping out in the kitchen when they are old enough to find their way there on their own. Children with knives is a good thing. They are learning skills necessary for their well being and survival.

The peeling is usually left up to the girl children. Boys usually take care of slaughtering the animals when there is meat available. Where I lived, there were several Muslim families who sent their children to the school where I worked. Muslims don't eat meat from animals that were not slaughtered by Muslims. None of the teachers where I worked were Muslims, so when there was meat to be cooked at the school, one of the Muslim boys would be pulled out of class to do the deed.

Kids were very skilled with blades in Uganda. No one used scissors. They used razor blades when cutting papers. Parents saw nothing unusual when you instruct the kids, "We're going to the swamp tomorrow to collect reeds. Everyone bring a machete to school." The next morning, every child came to school toting his or her panga. I'd lose my job if I tried that now. My students recently complained because I made them carve potato stamps using spoons. "Mr. Hatcher, why can't we use knives?" Because your parents would have fit.

I think that it is unhealthy that kids in America are so overprotected, and it is unfortunate that teachers have to protect themselves from lawsuits, so we are not always able to use the most efficient or convenient tools. Let's be safe.

2006-04-22T22:25:00.000-11:00

Loungin'

After dropping a couple of items off a the post office, I walked down to Utelei Beach. Today was a bit hazy, so there were not too many people out at the park. A couple of families were swimming, and there was one barbecuing chicken on a small grill by the water. The fales at the beach were vacant, so I climbed up on one to do a little reading. Some of my students are reading Secret of the Andes, a Newberry Medal winner from the 1950's. I want to get ahead of them so I can be a better guide. The sound of the waves washing up on the shore was very relaxing, and the view of the mountains across the bay was spectacular. I was only able to spend a short time there, but I found it very refreshing. I enjoy getting out of the house and just loungin' sometimes. I have a difficult time relaxing; I'm always occupied with something, physically or in thought. Taking time to observe and enjoy life is something I'm trying to learn to do.

Soon after I got back to the flat from Pago, a friend called to invite me to go with her family and some friends to Leone Falls. None of us had ever been there, so we relied on the Lonely Planet guide to get us there. NOTE TO READERS: Lonely Planet guides do not contain the gospel. They are not the Bible. I've always been a Lonely Planet fan. They are the only travel guides I use. The information contained in the 2003 guide for Samoa is a little outdated. We learned that you cannot freely approach the Leone Falls, you must get permission from the family who owns the land. There is also no swimming. Apparently, a few years ago a rock fell from the side of the mountain by the waterfall and landed on a swimmer. The family that owns the land are very hesistant to let people go back to the fall, but we were just too charming. We were escorted back to the waterfall and instructed more time than I can count that we were not allowed to go swimming. When we reached the fall, I had no desire to get in the water.

I love waterfalls. They are beautiful, and this one was no exception. However, the basin below the fall was not very inviting. It was also man made. There is a much better waterfall that is more accessible to the public (although the hike to it is more demanding), and the pool below it is natural. It's a bigger fall, and the scenery around it is much more impressive. I've made the trek twice, but I never took a camera with me. I have to get back there before I leave Tutuila.

All my Army training is being put to good use.

I have less than two months left on the island. I've done a lot in the few months that I've lived here, but there is still so much that I would enjoy doing before I leave. The Historic Preservation Office has organized a self-guided walking tour of Pago Pago. I have to do that before I leave, maybe next Saturday. If I can focus my attention long enough, I'll make a list of the things I'd like to do before I fly out.

2006-04-21T23:45:00.000-11:00

If only I could get my life in order and make a little progress!

Let's imagine I am swamped with work. Let's say that I have a ton of work to get done this weekend. Let's say that I have a big assignment due on Monday for my UH class. On top of that, I need to get some lesson plans churned out because it's coming down to the wire, and I really want my kids to learn a thing or two. Vamos supor that I need to get my share of my group's display prepared for the international fair that will take place at the school's open house on Tuesday. I need to go to the post office in Pago Pago, I want to get ahead of my students in the the books they are reading, I need to grade exams that my students took this week, and I must, must, must watch the latest episode of Veronica Mars that we just downloaded.

If the above were true (it is), this is how I'd organize my weekend: Sit on my lazy bootay, lay myself on the sofa and watch a lot of nothing on tv, surf the net, blog, read Pink is the New Blog, eat too much junk, nap, worry about getting everything done, put everything off for another half an hour (repeat the last two steps until weekend is through). I might just end up going to a waterfall that I have not yet visited. That could be fun. Watch Veronica Mars.

Ordem e progresso.

2006-04-20T22:09:00.000-11:00

Apparently
Australian men have quite the reputation.

As seen in store fronts around Apia, it's the word around town.
You have now been warned. Whether or not you heed the warning is up to you, but I did my part. I, personally, know too few Australian men to know if there is any truth to the rumor. I think I've met one in my entire life. I have good reason to believe that someone was quite disappointed by our Aussie brothers. But like I said, personally, I do not know. I was not there. I have never been a witness of the above-mentioned difficulty. I'm just playing my role in the grapevine. I repeat: You have been warned.

If you happen to be the disappointed, the disappointer or both, and if you become one of these in the future, I have three words fo' ya:

Sorry for you!

At this point I'd like to include a quote from Drew Barrymore as Ivy in Poison Ivy, but my mom occasionally reads my blog so I'll keep it to myself (for now). If you'd like to know what I have in mind to say, I encourage you to go to your local video store and rent the 1992 film by Katt Shea. Drew gets to make out with both Tom Skerritt and Sara Gilbert. It set Drew back on her path to mega-stardom.

I <3 Public Transportation.

Wouldn't it be cool to wait for your bus under a bus stop designed to look like a Samoan fale? I agree. Yes, it would be one of the funnest things ever! Almost as fun as:

Hello Kitty games on the back of Pop Tart boxes! How many bows can you find?

2006-04-19T19:51:00.000-11:00

A little sightseeing,

a bit of shopping,

cheesecake,

sleeping beauties,

two little mermaids,

Mary and the little baby Jesus.

Timothy and the Case of the Missing Mattress

I had a very interesting experience on this trip. I have to say that it was a first for me. Nicole and I were staying at Outrigger Hotel. Frommer's called it "One of the best budget hotels in the South Pacific". I agree. At the least, it's quaint, clean, close to town, and has a pool. We'd already spent one night there, and we spent the day out and about and at the pool at the Kitano (where Nicole's parents were staying). We came back to the hotel to get ready to go out to dinner with Marques, and I entered my hotel room to find no matress on my bed. It was not like the bedframe was bare. No. The bedsheets were put over the frame very neatly to look like a made bed, but there was obviously something missing. I almost did not believe my eyes, so I went over to feel the hard wooden slats that ordinarily would be supporting the matress, holding it in place. So I went to find the receptionist.

I found her in the lobby, and I explained to her that the matress was gone from my bed. She looked at me with total confusion on her face and asked, "Are you sure?" Could I make it up? She insisted that she go to my room and check for herself. After she was satisfied that there was indeed no matress on my bed, she said, "Maybe it was not there last night, and you just thought it was." WTF! I assured here that there was, infact, a matress on my bed the night before, I'd slept on it, and I would really love to sleep on it again that night. She came back with, "I'm sorry. We had other guests arrive this afternoon. They needed a matress, and we gave them yours. There is another bed in your room, so we did not think you would mind." Yes, there was another bed in my room that would be used by the other person sleeping in my room. We'd booked and were paying for a double room because there were definitely going to be two people staying in the room, and we wanted two beds.

After a little negotiation and an ultimatum, a matress was again placed on my bed. I slept fantastically well that night. Case closed.

2006-04-18T22:08:00.000-11:00

I <3 Chameleone!

Jose Chameleone, Uganda's biggest pop star, is my favorite Ugandan artist. He's got it. He's not much to look at, and I don't understand many of the words that he sings, but his songs always make me want to dance and sing along. Chameleone is this week's reason I am glad to be returning to Uganda.

I was never able to see him perform. Everytime he came to Hoima on tour I was either out of town or previously committed to something. I went to the Sean Paul concert in Kampala two years ago. Yes, I wanted to see Sean, but I really wanted to see Chameleone, who was the opening act. As luck would have it, as soon as Chameleone strutted his scrawny ass up on the stage and started to flail about, there was a sound problem, and he left the stage PISSED. No show from him.

I ran into him once at the shopping mall. It's better to see him at a distance. Whew! As I said, not much to look at.

2006-04-18T20:53:00.000-11:00

Let's Eat!

I dedicate this post to Melissa, my eating partner.

Leaving American Samoa meant going to a place where they serve good food, something that is not fried or a sandwich. In Apia, one can find a wide variety of restaurants. The first thing Nicole and I did when we arrived after checking in to our hotel was to hit the Italian restaurant: Giodanno's. Who does not <3 Italian food? We sure do, and we ate and ate.

We were not so lucky on Friday. Nicole and I spent the day at the pool, so we ate pool food (Imagine Lucille's face here as she complains on the phone to Michael.). I ate the worst club sandwich I have ever tasted. How can you screw that up? After wandering the (ghost)town a bit, we popped into the McDonald's (I know. Don't say anything.), and I ordered a chocolate milkshake. Yuck! It tasted like the chocolate was manufactured in the Middle East. Warning: Chocolate made in Dubai, NOT SO GOOD.

Friday day night was the best! We discovered this placed called Bistro Tatau

The food was amazing. I ate some Thai seafood concoction, and Nicole ate lobster ravioli in a lime/ginger broth. For dessert we had crème brûlée and cheese cake. Heaven. Nicole and I met up with a Peace Corps Volunteer working in Samoa, Marques (Peace Corps. YAY!!!), and we invited him for dinner. Great food + great conversation = PERFECT NIGHT!

Saturday was once again spent by the pool (Different hotel. Yeah, we got around.), but I was not having pool food. We had a fantastic lunch at Sydney Cafe. Nicole and I were in a very similar mood, and we both had vegetarian Italiano sandwiches and lemonade.

At the cafe, I was inspired by the food and grabbed my camera.

I call this "Boobs and Food."

We also had a man capri encounter at the Sydney Cafe.
I think it was their uniform. Poor guys.

Dinner was fun. We found a little hole in the wall pizza place. Cheap, great, relaxed. . . A great way to spend my last night in food paradise.

I love food, but I really love good food. This weekend trip gave me what I needed to get through the next two months until I can get what I need. YUM!

Melissa: Ya feelin' me?

2006-04-17T21:54:00.000-11:00

Guess who's back in the M-Fin' house!

Vacation, all I ever wanted...

You know, we really did not do a whole lot, and I have no problem with that. You would not imagine there would be such a difference between Samoa and American Samoa. They are populated by the same people, but for about 100 years, they have had very different histories. The differences of Apia were refreshing to me, and I am so glad that I took this chance to go for a visit.

There is so much that I want to tell, but I've had a lot to do today, and I'm preparing to retire for the night. I will make a post each day this week and fill you in on my adventure.

I <3 Samoa!!!

2006-04-12T23:20:00.000-11:00

Three Quotes and I'm out
(Hardy-har-har-har)

Television programming arrives to the rock a tad bit late. Usually there is a two week delay, taking all the fun out of the Academy Awards. I finally was able to watch Britney on Will & Grace tonight. Amber Louise. I've read online where some people thought her character's name was a bit lame. I just have to say, "Kiss it!" I think Amber Louise is great. Being a proud Southerner, I love the two-name first names, and one of the names being Louise is just keeping it real. Side note: I remember when my little sister was born, my brothers and I were all piled into the back of my parents little, green Datsun station wagon to go to the hospital to meet the newest member of our family and see our mom. We did not know that she'd already been given a name. At the time, the very early eighties (Sorry, Melissa, I don't remember which year you were born; thus, I just kind of guesstimate your age. You're still, like 12, right?), my brothers and I were HUGE fans of the Barbara Mandrell and the Mandrell Sisters series. The biggest. So we were all arguing on what our new sister should be named. My older brother, Larry, insisted that she be given the monicker Barbara, and I was insistent that it were to be Louise because she was the prettiest of the three. None of us wanted her name to be Irlene. I think that needs no explaining. As you all know, my parents went with Melissa. I have no idea where the hell that came from.

Back to the quotes. . . I've been watchin' my shows, and tonight there were three quotes that were so gosh darn funny that wanted to share them with the world. . . or with the 20 visitors who visit my blog on average each day. Two of the quotes are from the Buy Buy Baby episode of Will & Grace featuring a dazzling Britney Spears. The last one is from My Name is Earl: the one that guest stars Walt from Lost. So that's where The Others took him.

"If you question our president, then you're a dirty traitor!"

"Stars and dikes forever! Where did this come from?"

"We do not snatch the bullhorn!"

_______________________________

I'm heading out for a little R&R tomorrow afternoon. It's a four-day weekend, so I'm heading over to Apia for a couple of days. I've not left this island since I got here in July. I need a little change of scenery. Since there are no neighboring cities, I'm heading to the next best thing, the neighboring island. I'm not sure if I'll be able to post while I'm away.

I'm following your words of wisdom B. Thanks for the letter! (kiss noise)

2006-04-11T22:44:00.000-11:00

My mother, who got me into this business, always said to me, "Make them beg for me, then don't give it to 'em," but I'm not my mother. So if you beg, I'll give it to ya, and we'll have a real good. . . Beg!!!

As I've mentioned before, growing up we had a satellite dish. We could watch everything. Our parent did not approve of much (During the era of George Michael's "I Want Your Sex", MTV was completely banned. "If BYU does not allow it, then I don't allow it either." That really worked.), but we watched all we could when they were not around. My brother, Larry, introduced us to the Playboy Channel where we could see women in bikinis run through obstacle courses (and much more). Parental control devices did not to keep us off. I remember teaching my dad how they worked. It reallly pissed him off that a 12 year old could figure out what he couldn't.

Aside from from porn, having a dish meant we could see any animated feature that was made. . . Ever. We saw Herself the Elf, My Little Pony everything, Rainbow Brite, and Rose Petal Place. My brothers and I LOVED Rose Petal. My sister loved her too. . Or. . . Maybe it was just my mother and I who were infatuated. To make matters ~~worse~~ better, Rose Petal on Rose Petal Place: Real Friends was voiced by Marie Osmond. Being the good Mormons we were, we worshiped her. It was the best made-for-television animated feature EVER!!!

When ebay was new, I found a VHS copy of the film, and I bought it for my mother. I could not wait to view it! It had been so long. It was like candy. I'd forgotten how EVIL Nastina could be. However, nothing could beat the music of this show. I've mentioned the lyrics from this film on by blog before. I wish I could have all of the lyrics, but I cannot find them. I've googled everything I can think of to get the lyrics to no avail. If anyone out there reading this can hook me up with the lyrics, I'll add you to the list of gods that I pray to. Ah, Rose Petal:

I hope that we can all become very good friends at Rose Petal Place!

Never hear of Rose Petal? Here's a brief summary:

Rose Petal Place is a beautiful garden and home to
Rose Petal and her friends who came to life when they
were touched by a little girl's tears. She cried when she
had to move away and leave her lovely flowers. Rose Petal
loves to sing, in the cartoon she was voiced by Marie Osmond.
Each of Rose Petal's friends is a different flower and has
her own special talent or interest. Rose Petal is the music lover,
Orchid is the stylish, fashion plate, Lily Fair is a dreamer
and a dancer, Iris is an artist, Daffodil is business minded
and always carries around a calculator, and Sunny Sunflower
loves to laugh and talk and brings sunshine wherever
she goes. Their other friends include a hedgehog named
Tumbles and Elmer the Elm tree. Their enemies are
Nastina the Spider and her henchman, Horace the Fly.

I took a quiz to find out which Rose Petal character I am.

You are Lily Fair!!!

Take the What Rose Petal Place Character Are You? Quiz!

This quiz was created by Kara

I always had a crush on her!!!

Yay!!!

-----------------------------

We all needs friends. Rose Petal sang "nothing's better than friends", but some time they hurt. Friendships are not always easy to maintain, and sometimes it's not worth the effort. Everything changes, and we just have to know when to let go.

Have you ever been stabbed in the back
By someone you thought was really cool
Did they steal your heart or was it money
Or was it lies they told
Strangers just disguised as your friends
Never again cause now you know

That friends will let you down
Friends wont be around
When you need them most
Where are your friend

Friends are hard to find
Friends, yours and mine
I'm talkin bout your friends

Smiles they hide behind
Never know whats on their mind
Could be true deception
Jealousy and envy reign
They never want to see you get ahead
They just hold you back

Friends will let you down
Friends wont be around
When you need them most
Where are your friend, oh, oh

Friends are hard to find
Friends, yours and mine
I'm talkin bout your friends

Friends are hard to find, so be careful
You could find an inch or mile if I pay you
But some aint that bad, but one might back stab
To get the fake tips of what one might have
Bite the hand that feeds you, leave the people who need you
For those who hold you back and mislead you
To be a needle, dont get lead on unleaded
The wrong direction, a dead ends next then
Heed the detour, lifes like a seesaw
The ups and downs, and Ill bet therell be more
Potholes and obstacles in our path, thats righteous
At times you need a hand to fight this
Way of life, straighten up, take the door to the placid
And dont you act two-faced
Cause jealousy and envy, and you still act friendly
You could find the end and pretend to be

Friends will let you down
Friends wont be around
When you need them most
Where are your friends, yeah

Friends are hard to find
Friends, yours and mine
I'm talkin bout your friends

Used to me kiss me, tell me you missed me
But now you try to glaze me, play me and diss me
Uh, wide awake, ready to break, so we argue
What happened to the kisses, and, Why, how are you?s, yours and mine
I'm talkin bout your friends

Friends will let you down
Friends wont be around
When you need them most
Where are your friends, yeah

Friends are hard to find
Friends, yours and mine

2006-04-10T22:53:00.000-11:00

Circle in the Sand

I had the biggest crush on Belinda Carlisle when I was in the seventh grade. I was turned on in the era of both the Heaven on Earth and Runaway Horses albums.

My jr-high school English teacher, Ms. Ruby Sue Knox, asked us one day in class to describe our dream girl or guy. When I closed my eyes, all I could see was Belinda walking on the beach. She was the pink of perfection to me, a 13 year old pubescent boy. I knew what I liked, and she was not a blonde.

What got me thinking of this former Go Go? Well, iTunes can really bring back the memories. I was walking today listening to my shuffle, and my favorite song from the Runaway Horses album came on and flooded me with memories of 8th grade, of lying to Dana's parents to get the station wagon and riding out to the beach. I'm pretty sure this was the same night that Crystal Dean flipped her little Suzuki Sidekick out at the piles of dirt behind Highland View.

Summer Rain

Whispering our goodbyes
Waiting for a train
I was dancing with my baby
In the summer rain
I can hear him saying
Nothing will change
Come dance with me baby
In the summer rain
I remember the rain on our skin
And his kisses hotter than the Santa Ana winds
Whispering our goodbyes
Waiting for a train
I was dancing with my baby
In the summer rain
I remember laughing 'till we almost cried
There at the station that night
I remember looking in his eyes

Oh my love it's you that I dream of
Oh my love since that day
Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain
Doesn't matter what I do now
Doesn't matter what I say
Somwhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain

C, I'll b bk 2 dance w/ u soon!

2006-04-09T19:09:00.000-11:00

Just diggin' in the garden with
Comfort.

COM-FOR-TEE!!!

I mentioned in a past post that life in Uganda is simpler, yet it is not so easy. Conveniences are limited, and one has to work very hard for what he/she gets. Especially food.

This week's reason I am happy to be returning to Uganda is that I will be forced to get off of my bootay a ~~little~~ lot more. My days of vegging in from of the television stuffing my face are limited. Food preparation takes more time in Uganda because most things have to be prepared from scratch. Packaged, frozen and microwaveable foods are not very common. The benefit to this is that, when prepared, food tastes better and is better for you. Another benefit is that when food takes more effort to prepare, one does not sit around all day eating; and when one does papare something, he/she has already burned off so many calories in the proecess that no matter what is consumed, it usually does not leave any evidence on the body.

I had a garden for a while when I was in Uganda. Everything had to be done through man-power. After a few seasons, I decided to give it up and "contribute more to the local economy" by purchasing foodstuff from local farmers and merchants. Going to the market was an activity that I loved. I'll blog about it another time.

2006-04-08T21:13:00.000-11:00

SCARY!

Atauloma Girls' School

Just look at it. OOOOOOOOOO! It's so scary!

To the extent that ghosts represent the past, history is haunted. And indeed unattached spirits are most often associated with places that carry some antiquity. A touch of strangeness helps, some aspect of the place that sets it aside from other places. Ghosts are cross-culturally universal, but they seem to congregate in special places.

Like Atauloma, a most renowned haunted house.

John Enright

Nicole and I, ghost hunters extraordinair.

Just look at us. OOOOOOOOOO! We're so brave!

I even wore my sleeveless ARMY t-shirt. How intimidating is that? Ghosts (and Samoan landlord who might want to chase us off for tresspassing) beware.

Let's take a look around...

It is so CREEPY inside.

Despite being completely renovated in 1970, the place is falling down. People on contract with the American Samoa Government and their families lived here until the building was condemned in 1995.

Lights on!

Lights off!

So, so SCARY, but don't turn back.

We didn't.

We read that there was an an overgrown cemetary a short distance up the hill from the school with about 20 coral slab graves. We hiked in the bush, were scratched and stabbed by branches and Nicole slid on her bum coating the backside of her jeans with mud. Did I mention that we got a fair amount of rain today? The place was damp, and water was dripping making for a very SPOOKY experience. After all that, we did not find the graves.

We did not even find any ghosts on this trip. Maybe we'll find some orbs in our photos after more observations. We are already making plans for our next visit. This visit was more successful than the Halloween one when we were chased off by local villagers. I'm sure the next visit will have us finding the graves and maybe even making contact with the other side.

So scary!

TOO SCARY!

---------------------------

I cannot end this post on such a SCARY note.

I want to leave you with pleasant peaceful thoughs.

Tonight's the night for good BJ... Ben and Jerry's that is. We went to the supermarket to buy ice cream, and I ran into a treat that brought a smile to my face, and I hope that it will also bring one to yours:

Hello Kitty!
I don't even like cats, but this Kitty sure brings a smile to my face and makes me feel warm inside. She so cute!

Nice Kitty...

PPPuuurrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

2006-04-06T22:47:00.000-11:00

Candy Everybody

Wants

Don't you sometimes just crave

???

I know I do.

Mr. Goodbar, thou art so sweet. Yes, I mean sweet in the Ugandan sense.

Sometimes it takes more than a Snickers to satisfy my craving.

Who do I turn to?

You guessed it!

It's got all I need for a nice time,

and it's packed with. . .

!!!

I've taken a long while without a real

...

I know exactly what I want.

MMM...

!!!

MMM...

!!!

You know you want it, too.

Go for it!

Feel free.

Yay!

2006-04-05T23:09:00.000-11:00

Ain't no

SUNSHINE

when he's gone.

When you looked into my eyes, and you said goodbye
Could you see my tears
When I turned the other way
Did you hear me say
I'd wait for all the dark clouds bursting in a perfect sky
You promised me when you said goodbye
That you'd return when the storm was done
And now I'll wait for the light, I'll wait for the sun

2006-04-04T23:13:00.000-11:00

I've been kind of occupied this evening, so I'm just going to post a meme that I got from Nicole's blog. It's fun so read through it.

Here's what you do: Put your music player on shuffle. Press forward for each question. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense.

1)How am I feeling today? Pop (‘Nsync)
2)Will I get far in life? Just Don’t Tell Me That (‘Nsync)
3)What's your current state of mind? Light in Your Eyes (Sheryl Crow)
4)How do my friends see me? Feelings You’ve Got to Hide (Side Show Soundtrack)
5)Where will I get married? Too Many Walls (Cathy Dennis)
6)What is your view of marriage? Untitled (Simple Plan)
7)What is my best friend's theme song? All or Nothing (Cher)
8)What is the story of my life? Freak Out (Avril Lavigne)
9)What is/was highschool like? You Otta Know (Alanis Morissette)
10)How can I get ahead in life? Backyard (Pebbles)
11)What is the best thing about me? I Love You (Mary J. Blige)
12)What is today going to be like? Mary’s Joint (Mary J. Blige)
13)What is in store for this weekend? Eight Easy Steps (Alanis Morissette)
14)Describe my parents? Precious Illusions (Alanis Morissette)
15)Describe my grandparents? Gloria (Laura Branigan)
16)How is my life going? What You See (Is What You Get) (Britney Spears)
17)What song will they play at my funeral? Forever (Mariah Carey)
18)How does the world see me? Santa, Can You Hear Me (Britney Spears)
19)Will I have a happy life? Hard Enough Getting Over You (Cher)
20)What do my friends really think of me? Your Little Body is Breaking Down (Evita Soundtrack)
21)Do people secretly lust after me? Paradise Is Here (Cher)
22)How can I make myself happy? Belly Dancer (Akon)
23)What should I do with my life? Catch Me I’m Falling (Pretty Poison)
24)Will I ever have children? Old Man River (Paul Robeson)
25)What is some good advice for me? Too Much of Nothing (Tracie Spencer)
26)How will I be remembered? For All We Know (The Carpenters)
27)What is my signature dancing song? Mr. Lonely (Akon)
28)What is my current theme song? On the Bound (Fiona Apple)
29)What do people think my current theme song is? The First Taste (Fiona Apple)
30)What type of men/women do you like? Let Me Be the One (Exposé)

2006-04-03T19:16:00.000-11:00

Tia Seu Lupe
Tia'ave
Star Mound

Right down the street from the school (and my apartment) is located a star mound. I've taken my class there twice in the past two weeks since it is in walking distance. It is kind of a neat place. We went accompanied today by a guide from the Historical Preservation Office.

Star Mounds were built on Samoan islands as far back as 400 years ago. Researchers have located around 150 such mounds on the islands, but there are some who think there could be more than 1000 that have not yet been found. It has been estimated that this one was built between 100-250 years ago because the mound walls were still in fairly good condition when it was found.

The star mounds were used for the chiefly sport of pigeon catching. Different chiefs would hide themselves at different rays of the mound and use a decoy to lure unsuspecting birdies into their grasps. He who ended up with the most birds won. This sport was only practiced by chiefs. In fact, it was taboo for anyone other than a chief to eat the meat of a pigeon. That all changed when the missionaries arrived. Not only did they bring their religion; they also brought guns. The missionaries also were not very fond of the sport (heaven forbid someone have fun) and discouraged it. The combination of guns and Christian pressure led to the downfall of the sport. For a better explanation of the star mounds, visit the American Samoa Historical Preservaion Office's website.

Like many other places on the beautiful island of Tutuila, the Tiaseulupe Park is also being invaded by garbage.

God bless Samoa.

It is a crying shame. The park was leased by the government from the land owners, and Parks and Recreation is supposed to maintain this historic site. Unfortunately, it has become overgrown with bush, and the neighbors are using the park as a dumping ground. My students were outraged. I was so proud of them. They are planning a service project to go and clean the park.

----------------------------

I just watched an episode of Will & Grace, and it really depressed me.

What's wrong with me?

2006-04-02T17:33:00.000-11:00

DIG IN!

(Meet my little friends Doreen, Birungi, and Wobusobozi.)

Put away your inhibitions, and just pick it up how you want.

This week's reason I am happy to be moving back to Uganda is the appropriateness of eating with you hands. It is not only an accepted way of eating; with many of the traditional foods, it is the only way of eating. Try eating millet bread with a fork. If I'm there, I'll laugh at you.

Eating food in Uganda challenges the idea of playing with our food. Oburo must be "played" with a little bit to ply in into the appropriate shape to scoop up beans or soup. This method of eating ensures that people observe basic hygienic practices like washing hands. Ugandans are so emphatic and picky about washing their hands before and after meals. When I lived there, I always got a good laugh out of "civilized" white people who would travel to my little area in Hoima and hold lessons on the importance of washing one's hands before eating. After attending one too many workshops dealing with this subject, I approached one of the missionaries and asked, "Have you ever eaten a meal with a Uganda?" The truth is, the average Ugandan will wash his/her hands more frequently and thoroughly in a day than I ever would and be offended if soap and water were not present when served a mere snack consisting of cookies and a Coke. So if you are reading my blog, and you are planning a mission trip to Uganda, I advise you to do a little research beforehand and try to figure out what they (our Uganda counterparts) really want to know. What they want to know is probably what they need to know right now and probably what they will absorb and actually learn and put into practice. Otherwise, you'll just be making yourself feel good for helping "poor unfortunate souls" which in the long run means nothing. Really.

There I said it.

I heard this told many times in my little 3-year tour. A Ugandan man was asked why he would not eat his meal with the provided fork. He was familiar with Western culture and was skilled in fork usage. His response was simply, "I just washed my hands and know that they are clean. You gave me that fork, and I have no idea where it has been."

'Nuff said.

----------------------------------

Next topic.

On a good day:

I <3 American

Samoa, too.

I'm going to finish this thought quickly before I come to my senses and delete it. Yes, on a good day, I love the island. It has its charm and beauty. My experience on the rock certainly has not been an easy one, but I'm glad I am having it. I have met some amazing people here. Some have been amazing but complicate, amazing nonetheless. One could not ask for better scenery when going through harshest trail by fire of his life.

I'm still trying to learn more about Samoan culture so I can appreciate the beauty that it must posses. I'm hoping that a trip to Apia will broaden my perspective and give me a better appreciation.

Steve, Cristy and I went to a place called Sliding Rock (pictured above) today. We did not know exactly why it was named sliding rock, and were having a brief discussion about the origin of the name. Steve totally busted his arse, and the debate ended there. His back flat on the ground and feet straight up in the air left no more room for discussion. Thanks, Steve, for that real-life demonstration. Now, that is authentic learning. Yay!

Bye ya'll!

2006-04-01T11:00:00.000-11:00

Who Talks Like That?

Remember this from 1996? I sure don't, vacuum years. I never heard this ode to all things oral until last November (2005) when my friend Celeste pulled it up on her music player. I was shocked. Who talks like that?

Those of you reading this post who know me well are probably asking yourselves right now, "How could he not have heard this song until 2005? Is this another one of those two truths and a lie thingies? (By the way, in the latest episode of Veronica Mars, George Michael, from Arrested Development, leads the group of college newbies-to-be in a game of two truths and a lie. I made the post on Tuesday and Veronica did not air until Wednesday. Total (cool) coinsidence. Veronica Mars and I are so in sync.) Wouldn't "Put it in Your Mouth" be one of his life's anthems?" Yes, I must admit that I do put a lot of things in my mouth. My pens are put in my mouth. Your pen is put in my mouth if you let me borrow it. My glasses spend about as much time pivoting by a leg from my teeth as they do resting resting on my nose. I'll taste anything at least once. Spices are always sprinkled on my hand and licked. I've licked numerous deoderant sticks just to know what they tasted like.

Once I was traveling on a train in Germany. The train was packed, and all the seats were taken so I was left standing holding one of the poles near the front and center of the car. A student that I was traveling with (not really a friend, more like a colleague) was standing, too, holding to the same pole. You guessed it. I licked his hand. I'm not really sure why I licked it. I just did it. He did not seem to mind. I got a strange look or two from the people standing next to us. (Those abnoxious foreigners!)

Confession: I still chew my nails. It's gross, I know. I've made progress. Notice that I said chew and not bite. I stopped biting almost a year ago, but anytime I get anxious, stressed or nervous, the edge of my fingernail is back in my mouth. It's amazing I am not full of parasites.

Put it in my mouth!

2006-03-30T20:24:00.000-11:00

Bane of the week:

MIGRAINES!

Gag me with a spoon! Migraines so make me want to throw up.

Like last Wednesday when I woke up at 1:17am feeling like a red-hot poker was being driven through my right eye. I went straight to the bathroom and emptied my stomach.

Four days of my five-day break from school were spent incapacitated and nauseated. Seven days later, my dear friend is back for a visit.

Is this Karma?

This time I'm not on break. I have to face a room of 12 pre-teens tomorrow morning at 7:30am. I'm praying to the pagan gods for a miracle.

-----------------

And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for.

I lied. Yes. Here is my falsehood:

I went water skiing on the canal one day with my family and some buddies, and I really busted it in the water. When I came up my ear was dangling, half cut off. When I made it to shore, my parents, maintaining their composure very well considering the situation, ushered me into the van and rushed me to the emergency room where my ear was stitched back on.

All the events in the above story are true. They just did not happen to me. They happened to my brother, Larry. The same Larry who saved my Monchichi's hat in story number 3.

2006-03-29T19:24:00.000-11:00

Dolly Parton

was robbed.

(I agree with Ad Rock on that one.)

The third time's the charm.

Right?

Apparently not for Dolly.

9 to 5 lost to Fame in 1981.

Both songs are classics in my opinion. I can't really say she was robbed here. Slighted, maybe.

In 1994, her collaboration with James Ingram, The Day I Fall in Love, was up for the Oscar, but it lost to Bruce Springsteen's Streets of Philadelphia.

I'm not a big fan of The Boss, but if that song from Beethoven's 2nd would've won, it would've been more of an upset than Whoopi Goldberg hosting that year instead of Billy Crystal. To her credit, Dolly had nothing to do with the writing of that song. The credit for that goes to Carol Bayer-Sager, James Ingram and Clif Magness.

Oh, Academy of Motion Picture, what is in that pipe you are smokin'?

Crack?

It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp? WTF

Do you remember the year Eminem won for Lose Yourself? Barbara Streisand was the presenter. Remember her thrilled expression when she opened the envelope? Can you imagine what it would've been if she were the one to present the award for best original song this year? OMG.

This was supposed to be the year of Dolly. The third time's the charm. I don't make the rules.

Did the teleprompter not scroll up, and the presenter just got confused like Jack Palance in 1993 when he presented Marisa Tomei with the award for best supporting actress? (Denzel was also robbed that year. Academy! Lay off the crack! Look what has happened to Whitney!)

I know that the Academy Awards took place over three weeks ago, but the reality is just sinking in. Travelin' Thru is on heavy rotation on my iTunes these days; in fact, I'm playing it as I type. It is simply a great song and very fitting for the movie it was written for: Transamerica.

Questions I have many, answers but a few...

Sing it Dolly!

Travelin' Thru

Well I can't tell you where I'm going, I'm not sure of where I've been
But I know I must keep travelin' till my road comes to an end
I'm out here on my journey, trying to make the most of it
I'm a puzzle, I must figure out where all my pieces fit
Like a poor wayfaring stranger that they speak about in song
I'm just a weary pilgrim trying to find what feels like home
Where that is no one can tell me, am I doomed to ever roam
I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' on

Questions I have many, answers but a few
But we're here to learn, the spirit burns, to know the greater truth
We've all been crucified and they nailed Jesus to the tree
And when I'm born again, you're gonna see a change in me

God made me for a reason and nothing is in vain
Redemption comes in many shapes with many kinds of pain
Oh sweet Jesus if you're listening, keep me ever close to you
As I'm stumblin', tumblin', wonderin', as I'm travelin' thru

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru
I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru

Oh sometimes the road is rugged, and it's hard to travel on
But holdin' to each other, we don't have to walk alone
When everything is broken, we can mend it if we try
We can make a world of difference, if we want to we can fly

Goodbye little children, goodnight you handsome men
Farewell to all you ladies and to all who knew me when
And I hope I'll see you down the road, you meant more than I knew
As I was travelin', travelin', travelin', travelin', travelin' thru

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin'
Drifting like a floating boat and roaming like the wind
Oh give me some direction lord, let me lean on you
As I'm travelin', travelin', travelin', thru

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru
I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru

Like the poor wayfaring stranger that they speak about in song
I'm just a weary pilgrim trying to find my own way home
Oh sweet Jesus if you're out there, keep me ever close to you
As I'm travelin', travelin', travelin', as I'm travelin' thru

Travelin' Thru was the best song written for motion pictures last year.

2006-03-28T17:50:00.000-11:00

No, no, no, no.
Baby.
No, no, no, no.
Don't lie.
Whatcha gonna do when it call comes out?
When they really see you...
What you're all about...
No, no, no, no.
Baby.
No, no, no, no.
Don't lie.

I had my class play the Alternative Break Corps favorite, Two Truths and a Lie, today. We are doing a study on our identity, and I wanted them to think about less commonly know facts about themselves that they think are interesting. I also wanted the learners to invent something fictitious about themselves, something they wished were true or thought that others would believe were. I am proud to announce that I have a class full of great liars. This worked so much better than the last time I tried it. My students (grown adults) just did not get it. They would always pick obvious truths and even more obvious lies. There was never any attempt to truly deceive their peers. Ho hum.

Here is my own list of two truths and a lie. See if you can figure which of these stories is not true.

1. I used to own practically every Masters of the Universe action figure, but my brothers took them all from the top shelf of my closet and sold them to some neighbor friends who bashed them all to pieces before my parent could go over and recover them.

2. I went water skiiing on the canal one day with my family and some buddies, and I really busted it in the water. When I came up my ear was dangling, half cut off. When I made it to shore, my parents, maintaining their composure very well considering the situation, ushered me into the van and rushed me to the emergency room where my ear was stitched back on.

3. I once owned a Monchichi doll. Come on! I was like six. Anyway, one day my brothers and I were playing down at the clay pits on my grandfather's property and some older bully types came along and started harassing me a bit. One of the big boys, I think his name was Greg, took the cap off of my Monchichi, put a stone in it, and he tossed it into the back of a dump truck that was hauling red clay from the pit. I was devastated for a second; however, my older brother, Larry ran yelling at the truck. The truck stopped, and by some act of kindness of the pagan gods, my monchichi's hat was rescued from the rubble. Yay!

Can you handle my truth?

So, which is the lie?

Come on. Leave a comment with your guess.

I will post the TRUTH on Friday. (Remind me if I forget!)

Always soft and cuddly

2006-03-27T22:45:00.000-11:00

I finished my computers in education class last week. I really enjoyed that class. At first I did not think I would because it seemed like it was going to be a boring introduction to computers and Microsoft Office. It could've been, but my instructor, Laura was great and gave assignments that the learner could take as far as his/her ability would permit. I had a great experience, got some great ideas for my class, and am very happy I stayed with the course.

I have one more class to finish, and it goes until the 8th of May. It is an educational philosophies class. I like the subject matter of the class, and I think that our text is great. However, I've been a bit disappointed in the discussion that takes place in the classroom. No one does the reading. I feel like the over achiever, and I am a little uncomfortable with that. I voice my opinion quite frequently in class, and I remind myself of those obnoxious students from univeristy that I detested that would sit in the front of the lecture hall of my general biology lecture and act like they knew everything. The problem is I am very interested in the topics we cover, and I want to discuss them to learn more. I also have a different point of view than the instructor, and I feel like I need to express it.

Anyway, today we were discussing educational theories: progressivism, perennialism, and essentialism. Well, John Dewey is considered the father of progressivism and came out of the University of Chicago. When I read chapter 7 in our text, Mr. Dewey's name hit me like a sledge hammer. Chasing Vermeer! He's the guy who founded the school that Petra and Calder attend in Chasing Vermeer. I love Ms. Hussey. She is my idol as a teacher. I aspire to be as quirky, weird and great as she is some day. That is my goal.

I love the book Chasing Vermeer. I has become my new friendship book. Harold and Maude is my friendship movie, the movie I have to share with all my friends. It is kind of a test to see if we are really compatible, if we are just (eh) friends or if we are soul mates, kindrend spirits (The Anne of Green Gables inside me is speaking again.). Chasing Vermeer is so fantastic. Petra and Calder are who I wanted to be at their age, who I wanted my friend to be. I respect them even now.

If you are reading this and you consider yourself my friend, take this as you invitation to read Chasing Vermeer. Let me know what you think, and I'll let you know if we can still be friends.

2006-03-26T19:18:00.000-11:00

EXTEND! EXTEND!

Public transportation is the reason of the week that I am happy to be returning to Uganda. Pictured above is my favorite taxi driver of all time, Julius Amooti. Some people, especially non-Ugandans, had a problem with overfilled taxis, vehicles that were designed to carry 14 passengers carrying upwards of 30, but after standing by a dusty road with the sun scorching above for three hours waiting for a vehicle to carry me to town, I had no problem with it. Personal space be damned. Julius would never leave me stranded. One day there was almost a riot in the taxi part when he made sure I got on a vehicle going to Kampala on a day when taxis were few and passengers were many.

Regardless of where I am, I love to take public transportation. Reason number one is that I hate driving. I am a good driver, but I find it tiresome. I'd rather talk with the drive than be in the driver's seat. You can also meet some very interesting (good interesting and bad interesting) when taken public transportation. I take the aiga buses everywhere I do not walk here in American Samoa.

Universal rules for taking public transportation:

1. Empty the bladder before boarding the vehicle. You don't want to be the one to ask the driver to stop for you.
2. Take along you own headphones. You never know what your driver's taste of music will be. I think that one of the cardinal rules of driving is that the driver selects the music. I respect that, so I come prepared.
3. Keep an eye on your bags. No matter how honest you would like to believe your neighbors to be, there is at least on who is not.
4. Carry Dramamine, Bonine or something like that. (I suffer from motion sickness.) Save yourself from suffering and potential embarassment.
5. Check the vehicle's wheels before boarding on a long journey. Being stranded on a roadside is never what you hope for.
6. Don't get in a vehicle with a driver you even suspect has been drinking. You don't drink and drive, so why ride with someone else who has.
7. Find out what the correct fare is before boarding the vehicle. The sky's the limit if you don't.
8. Take snacks. Some sweet, some salty. You'll need them.
9. Vie for the seat with the seat belt that actually works. It might save you life.
10. Exit the vehicle with all of your possessions. You would be very lucky to recover any forgotten items.

Yay for

public transportation!

2006-03-26T15:54:00.000-11:00

Have you had your dose of PINK

today?

Katie Holmes's alien baby

Britney's heinous dress

More fun being poked at International Male catalog

It's whacha like.

2006-03-25T20:30:00.000-11:00

Dare! Dare to believe you can survive

Remember 1986?

1986 was the year that brought us the screen gems The Hitcher, Aliens, and Children of a Lesser God. 1986 is also responsible for dumping on us the baneful scourges Top Gun (Tom Cruise = Gross) and Crocodile Dundee (Linda Kozlowski in a thong... I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.).

In 1986, we also saw the sectacular of animation, The Transformers: The Movie hit theaters. This pretty much forgotten feature is an underappreciated quasi-masterpiece that my former roommate Jason--a huge anime fan who doodled Sailor Moon cuties anywhere there was blank space--saw as one of the finest examples of American animation. Jason's admiration of this film in 1997 put the retrieval function of my brain into overdive. I saw Transformers: The Movie back when it was released in 1986 and was as shocked as everyone to learn that Spike, the Autobots' human friend and occasional recipient of sweet robot love, had a foul mouth and could be provoked to exclaim, "Ah Shit! What are we gonna to do now?" However, it had been years since I had thougth about the movie, so I was unable to discuss it's artistic merit with my disappointed roommate.

Seeing the Transformers movie was so high up on my priorities' list that I finally sat down to watch it again yesterday, approimately nine years after that motivating conversation with Jason and about 20 years after I saw the film for the first time.

The Transformers: The Movie has one powerful soundtrack. Vince DiCola, contributor of song to both Stayin' Alive and Rocky IV, is in fine form with this film. The hard rocking anthems drive the story foward. The souped up version of the Transformers' theme song performed by Lion during the opening credits get our engines revved up, and the motivating tunes perfomed by then unknown (and still unknown) Stan Bush keep the movie audience's adrenaline a pumpin'. Lyrics like "You got the touch! You got the power! Yeah!" add strength and power to a film full of strength and power.

Who's in this movie? Who's in the movie? Well let tell you who's in this movie. A-list talent that lent their voices to this major motion picture.

It is a year after The Breakfast Club made him a star. In a move to prove his versatiltiy as an actor and show the world that not only can he play a high school rebel, but he can also be a convicing sports car/robot in disguise, Mr. Nelson tackles the role of a young Autobot trying to find his path and reach his full potential.

Mr. Spock tries to shed his good-guy image and becomes one of the most merciless villans to hit the big screen. Galvatron is a revamped Megatron, bigger and better and purple. He no longer needs assistance to shoot his load; he can handle it all by himself now.

The host of Unsolved Mysteries is not yet known to the young movie going crowd as the host of Unsolved Mysteries. He is an Optimus Prime wannabe who is handed the mantle of leadership after his superior's demise. Ultra Magnus is pretty worthless. Sure, he's a big semi truck with missiles, but what good is that when you are pretty worthless. He botches things up and almost costs the transfomers their home planet of Cybertron.

Mr. Welles gives voice to one of the biggest villans ever. Unicron is so big, that when he gets hungry, he has a planet for lunch. The man who gave the world Citizen Kane must've seen somthing special in this film. It was one of the last that he completed before his death in October 1985.

Nothing is sacred, so nobody is safe. Like the killing off of Janet Leigh at the beginning of Psycho and the gruesome disembowlment of Drew Barrymore in the first scene of Scream, many imporant veteran characters lose their lives very early in The Transformers: The Movie. As a kid, I was utterly taken aback to witness the annihilation of Star Scream, the traitorous fighter jet/robot in disguise Decepticon. If it happened to him, it could happen to anyone.

While watching this film, I could not help seeing similarities between it and The Matrix trilogy. I'm not making any accusations, but...

1. One of the alternate titles for The Transformers: The Movie was The Transformers: The Matrix.
2. On his deathbed, fallen leader, Optimus Prime, instructs his fellow Autobots: "Do not grieve. Soon I shall be one with the matrix."
3. After scoring an important victory against their powerful foe, the good guy transformers hold a rave to celebrate.

Like the television series before it, The Transformers: The Movie is ultra violent. (It's not bloody because robots don't have blood.) Weapons are being fired left and right. Destruction and mayhem rule the day. However, there is also just a touch of sweet robot love. The movie, of course, took it a little further than the television show. A humanoid robot trying to hook up with a dinosaur one does test the boundaries of decency in my opinion.

Well that is what I think; that is The Transformers: The Movie in a nutshell. I know, I did not give any information about the plot. I did not want to accidentally give too much away and spoil the movie since I know that you are on your way to the video store to rent it just as soon as you close your web browser.

Cheers.

2006-03-25T15:36:00.000-11:00

I <3 Veronica!

All righty then... Well, if you wind up getting to number 8, be sure and bring mouthwash.

What have I told you about thinking?

That it makes my breasts smaller.

Well, if it helps you deciding on your wardrobe, I'll be wearing an "I'm with stupid" t-shirt.

This not Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.

I'm confused. You're talking, and your clothes are on.

You know what's really disturbing about you, other than everything...

(Quotes from season 2 episode 15: The Quick and The Wed. Watch Veronica Mars, Wednesdays on UPN... for now at least.

2006-03-25T00:38:00.000-11:00

Where Does

All the Time Go?

It seems that there are just not enough hours in the day. Some days I just feel like I get nothing done. Where does all the time go? Am I being robbed, or am I just the most inefficient person to ever walk the planet? I know. I know. It is my spring break. Why am I not relaxing? Why am I worried about efficiency? I've asked myself that every day this week.

As an experiment to see where all the time goes (and to try and spot the thief if I may), I decided to document my day and see what really goes on in my life.

I woke up a little late today, around 8:30am. I checked the normal morning websites and read my email. I chatted for a while with Nicole at work, looked for Veronica Mars t-shirts online, window-shopped for a Blogography t-shirt, a Piggly Wiggly t-shirt and made an attempt to find a Pink is the New Blog t-shirt for sale anywhere. (I know; they were a limited Edition. Trent said on his blog today that there are plans for another one "later on this year"!)

I then proceeded to watch
I know what you are thinking. I'll blog about it later.

When I finally convinced myself to get my bootay out of bed, I cooked lunch for my roommate, Nicole, and I. I made for her macaroni and cheese, and I made rice, miso soup (from a packet) and egg rolls for me. (Don't you just love the green jacket thrown at the foot of my bed. I just got it from an order I placed at gap.com)

We took a power lunch and watched two (or was it three) episodes of Arrested Development. I don't remember which ones. I think Lindsay was being selfish, Lucille was being a real bitch, Gob wanted to be a real magician, Tobias was behaving ambiguously gay, George was in jail, George Michael and Maeby were behaving either inappropriately and/or awkwardly, Michael was being a tad bit self-righteous, and Buster was being, well, Buster. You know the episode.

After lunch, I rode in to Nu'uuli with Nicole and went to get my hair cut. I hate to let my hair grow too long. I really like it nice and short. Unfortunatly, because of the salary I earn and the cost of a haircut, I'm only able to get it cut about once a month. I know I must look like a wooly-bugger every time I enter the doors of the barber salon.

Vogue is my favorite barbershop on island. It is run by two Korean women. They do a fantastic job with the cut, but the icing on the cake is when they wash my hair after cutting it. I've never been to a place that washes after cutting. I've only had my hair washed before a cut. However, washing afterwards gets rid of the loose trimmings that would later find their way into one's collar and cause irritation. I also love it because she gives me a scalp massage while she is washing. (It's that or she just thinks I'm dirty and need a little something extra to get me clean.)

From the salon, it was off to the Lafou Shopping Center where I paid Nicole a little visit at work.

(I have a great photo of her at her desk working, but I've been forbidden to post it until she has a chance to do a little work on it. Shhh!!!)

Because of the miraine that I was plagued with all week, I am a teensy bit behind in my preparations for the next school quarter, and I have an assignment due in my UH class Monday. It was time for the Koko Bean.

I almost finished my assignment.

I got some planning done for my thematic unit. (School starts in three days!)

I even had some time to work on a The Transformers: The Movie blog. It should've been posted today, but I ran into a slight problem. It will be posted tomorrow. (I hope.)

When Nicole got off from work, it was off to la casa, and then off to do a little grocery shopping. I dropped my laptop off at the A-P-T before going to Cost-U-Less, but I forgot this small detail. I almost had a small heart attach when we reached home, and my computer was not in the vehicle.

I love me some BMac. Don't we all just love us some BMac. I saw these

while shopping, and I had to have them.

Guess what I had for supper.

During each delicious (and nutrious--they are made from whole grains) spoonful, I could taste Madonna's tongue in Britney's mouth at the 2003 MTV Music Video Awards. Oh, fond memories of the Blue Mango, a VHS tape, the communal bowl and us.

That about sums up my day. Wait a minute. I almost forgot the 117 minutes of my life that I will never get back. I watched as much of Get Rich or Die Tryin' as I could bear. From the moment 50 opened his mouth, I knew it was on. High points include:

1. Terrence Howard (my favorite actor of the moment) plays Bama.
2. The guy who plays Eco on Lost is once again a bad guy in a movie. Is it because he's African?
3. There is an intense naked fight with a blade in the shower when 50 gets incarcerated. He's bad ass, you know.

It is after midnight, and I'm sitting in bed wearing my new green briefs (I usually don't wear briefs, but I got a pair in my last order from gap.com. I've got to refrain from buying online.), making this update to my blog. Where does all the time go? My actions are about as random as my thoughts. It is like I say in my profile, I'm a jack of all trades but a master of nothing. If I could just focus my attention or energy on one thing... I'D BE BORED OUT OF MY MIND!!!

Hatcher out.

2006-03-23T22:09:00.000-11:00

I scream.
You scream.
We all scream for
ICE CREAM!!!
I love ice cream.

I once wrote an ode to Ben and Jerry's.

Samoans love ice cream. There is no lack of ice cream on the island. You can find it sold at almost any location. Any social event could be called an ice cream social. I have no problem with that.

Ice cream on a stick is what I really crave. I fell in love with it during my two-year stint in Brazil. I love a good palito. Here are some of my favorites on island.

First we have the Paddle Pop

This was actuallly the first ice cream on a stick I had in my early days on the island. It is like a rainbow in a stick. I'm not sure what flavor it is supposed to be, though. It is just kind of sweet.

Then there is the Golden Gay Time

Warning: If you eat this one, it turns you gay.

Magnum. No, not what you are thinking. Get you mind out of the gutter. Although, it is a rather larger ice cream on a stick.

This one reminds me of the Mega Bars from Nestle that I used to buy in Uganda. Yummy.

And then there's this one.

It's not ice cream on a stick... but it is shaped like a fish.
It's a Korean ice cream with sweet red bean paste.
I <3 this one.

That about wraps it up my infatuation with the stick.

ICE CREAM

Yeah!

2006-03-23T20:49:00.000-11:00

I was tagged. Now I’m “it”. Thanks Nicole.

List seven songs you're into right now. Old, new, whatever…

These are the top songs being played on my iTunes these days:

1. Not Ready to Make Nice-Dixie Chicks
2. Smile-Vitamin C (Been watchin’ Hairspray again)
3. Screwed-Paris Hilton (Is it really? Sounds like her. Very catchy. I love it.)
4. Upside Down-Diana Ross
5. Groove is in the Heart-Deelite
6. Naughty Girls Need Love Too-Samantha Fox
7. Dreams-Gabrielle

Choose a band/artist and answer ONLY in titles of their songs...

Ok, it's Brit Brit.

1. Are you male or female?
Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

2. Describe yourself:
Chaotic, I’m So Curious, Stonger

3. How do some people feel about you:
Toxic

4. How do you feel about yourself:
I’ve Got that Boom Boom

5. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriend:
Lucky

6. Describe your current significant other:
You Got It All

7. Describe where you want to be:
The Hook Up

8. Describe how you live:
Me Against the Music

9. Describe how you love:
Touch of My Hand

10. What would you ask for if you had just one wish:
Breathe on Me

11. Share a few words of wisdom:
Do Somethin’

12. Now say goodbye:
Don’t Go Knockin’ on My Door

2006-03-22T23:13:00.000-11:00

I just watched 13 Going on 30, and now I'm watching last Sunday's episode of Grey's Anatomy.

I loved 13 Going on 30. When I was home last summer, my mother had it, but I never watched it; I did not think I would like it. The whole premise of a child becoming an adult over night does not usually equal a good movie. I had also recently seen Elektra (and never seen Alias), so I was not a very big Jennifer Garner fan. Well I passed on a real gem. Dance routines to MJ's Thriller and Pat's Love is a Battlefield!

What more do you need for a fabulous 98 minute film? Hmm... Judy Greer (aka Kitty "Say goodbye to these!" Sanchez).

"On your best day, that corpse is twice the man you will ever be." Izzy to Alex

I'm very picky about what I watch. I do not get very interested in many shows. I'm a recovering television addict, so I try to avoid nonsence shows that have the potential to suck me in a for nothing. If I am going to indulge it should be something that has some kind of value. From 2000-2002, until I left for Peace Corps, the one show that looked forward to each week was Buffy the Vampire Slayer (see my wish list). Peace Corps = no electricity = no television. Since I've been back, I've been introduced to the show that was Arrested Development (R.I.P.), Veronica Mars (Number one in my book, I love Kristen Bell. Reefer Madness!!!), and Grey's Anatomy. I must admit that I would not die if I missed an episode, but I do so enjoy catching one every week. It has really grown on me. I love Sandra Oh.

You'll never see these again!

2006-03-21T20:59:00.000-11:00

Bow down and worship me!!!

Charm? Nah.

Charisma? Nah.

Skill? Intellect? Birthright? Merit? Nah. Nah. Nah. Nah.

Oh, Sunshine, you do not realize what you gave to me.

You know you worship the quicksand I walk on.

I'VE GOT DA POWA!

Give it up.
Do as I say.
Give it up and let me have my way.
I'll give you love; I'll hit you like a truck.
I'll give you love; I'll teach you how to ...

2006-03-20T21:40:00.000-11:00

There is beauty all around...

Hello Beautiful!

Today was my first official day of spring break. How was it? Eh. It was good. I got my lazy bootay out of bed somewhat early, of course not before checking my email, updating myself about current events from cnn.com, and getting my daily fix of Pink (what really makes the world go 'round). I'm trying to get leaner so that one day I, too, may have nice abs. I went jogging before eating breakfast because that is supposed to jump-start my metabolism, so I can burn fat. I love to run. I just HATE running in the mornings. I want to get into some kind of routine that I can keep up when school starts back next week. Dream on! How many good fitness habits have I attempted to acquire since this semester began? Why do I keep doing this? I've got to look good in those jeans.

Besides going shopping for cleaning supplies at the supermarket, defrosting the freezer and cleaning the 'fridge, I did not do a whole lot today besides surf the net and napping. I thought about watching a movie, but I passed on that idea. I ordered the Fame DVD from amazon.com, and I'm working on an order from oldnavy.com. They are running a special for this week only. $10 off of any purchase over $50. I'm more of a Gap man myself, but there is a pair of trousers I've had my eye on. I'm having trouble finding $50 of merchandise that I really want.

I skipped class tonight. (My UH courses are on a different schedule than my school.) Steve, Cristy and I went to the beach this evening; it was so great to get my ass out of the house. I'm a person who is always on the move, and I'm happy that way. I feel miserable when I'm cooped up. It's depressing. I've just got to be out. It was a nice evening, and we watched the sun set. Beautiful. As much as I complain about being on the island, it has its charm. It is truly a beautiful place, especially if you can find a place with no garbage strewn about. To borrow an idea from my beloved mother, I need to stop being so critical. I think I'd be a happier person if I could just stop noticing all the flaws around me and be happy with the positive qualities that surround me. I would also cease to exist.

You are beautiful.

You are ugly.

I am feeling a wee bit like crap right now. I've got a headache (not a migraine, thank my pagan gods!). I feel like I want to throw up. I think I need a good massage.

Remember my name!

2006-03-19T20:17:00.000-11:00

Sunsets and
Plantations

*BMac not included
This week's reason I am happy to return to Uganda is the simple pleasure of daily life. Life is simple in Uganda, but that doesn't mean that it is easy. In many ways, you have to work harder for what you get. However, because there are fewer distractions there, you have more time to appreciate what you have, including the company of the people around you.

2006-03-19T12:40:00.000-11:00

Remember 2003?
There was the comment:

“Just so you know, we're ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas.”
Natalie Maines
Dixie Chicks singer

Then there was the reaction:

"We're starting to catch on," Methodist pastor and regional protest organizer Blick Franklin told The Holy Observer in a phone interview. "After purchasing all 87 of Best Buy's Dixie Chicks CDs in Austin, I started thinking, 'This seems oddly counterproductive.'"

That's when Franklin began the "Burn to Burn" campaign, which has built up quite a following. He explains, "Now we just download their songs for free on Kazaa and burn them onto CDs. Then we burn the CDs! When you break God's law you pay."

When asked regarding breaking God's law what he meant by 'we download their songs for free,' Franklin sounded confused, responding, "What do you mean? We can just download them… it's free."--Holy Observer, June 15, 2003

"I along with my family and freinds will for ever boycott the Dixie Chicks. Our father's, son's, mother's, and daughter's are over there fighting for our country, and they had no right to say the things they did. Guess its time for them to stay home and have their baby's now."--Dorie

WELL, BOO HOO!

Go on GIRLZ!

It is now March 2006, three years after the London incident, and the grudge is still on. There are still radio stations that refuse to play the Chicks music, including those in Lubbock, Texas, Natalie's hometown.

What are the Dixie Chick's doing? They are preparing to drop their latest album on 23rd May 2006, and their first single Not Ready to Make Nice is HOT.

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

2006-03-18T17:55:00.000-11:00

Bane of the Week:
Blue Sky Communications

Island life, like life in general, if full of its ups and downs; however, on the island, you kind of have to accept what comes your way because you have no choice. Okay, maybe I exaggerate a tiny bit. There are some choices. For example, when you go out to dinner, you have the choice between the meal where everything is fried or a sandwich. I mean, I am stuck on a volcanic rock thousands of miles away from any mainland, so it makes sense that the pickin's are a little slim. I am used to living in the world of the have nots, so I did not think that I would be so bothered by the havenottedness of American Samoa. No customer service. I can live with that. No real variety of food. I can deal. Mobile phone network that overcharges and provides backward services. I've drawn the line.

Blue Sky Communications is awarded the Bane of the Week recognition for their exorbitant prices, lack of quality services, weak network reception, and the inabilitly to allow me to make my weekly Sunday-evening phone calls (which I could do until last month) because the number I have to dial is not available from your calling area. Has the island moved?

I have three letters for those working at the Blue Sky offices that got a laugh out of the email that was circulated about the African iPod: MTN.

MTN is an African based mobile phone network that offers services leaps and bounds beyond what we have here in American Samoa. It's easy to poke fun at the creative problem solving employed by our impoverished African brothers and sisters, but some things they really got right.

Sometimes less is more.
(I don't want to be nit-picky, but who ever designed Blue Sky's web site should definietely take a look at the MTN site and get some ideas.)

Oops... Blue Sky did it again. How much plastic coated paper do you need to print a 10-digit authorization code? Apparently in American Samoa they need 18cm x 8 1/2cm. There is not enough trash lying around the island already.

2006-03-17T23:40:00.000-11:00

www.paperdollheaven.com

I just had to let you know about this fabulous site I stumbled across today. It's called Paper Doll Heaven, and it is heaven for anyone who loves clothes and has ever dreamed of dressing celebrities.

Dress them up for some fancy awards ceremony, a night out at the club, or a day just chillin' at home. Everything is there: pants, shirts, hats, belts, even socks!

You can make your celebrity as skanky as you like or as matronly as your mother would.

Bjork couldn't be here tonight. She was trying on her dress, and Dick Chaney shot her.--Jon Stewart, Academy Awards, 2006

Be warned: Do not go to this site unless you have hours of nothing to do.

2006-03-17T15:37:00.000-11:00

SWEET Robot Love!
For many children, growing up in the 80's meant having a big, white satellite dish planted in your back yard providing you with a fair amount of shade, but also making the summer job of mowing the lawn a bit more difficult because the riding lawn mower just would not make it under the beast. (You also had to be careful not to trim too close with the push mower or you'd end up cutting some wires at the base of the dish with the blade causing the robotic arm that adjusted the sucker to no longer function, then you'd either be stuck with the dish in the same position to view only a limited number of stations--which defeats the purpose of having a dish to begin with--or you'd have to go outside and manually adjust the dish to find the stations you wanted. Ask me how I know.) Having a satellite in my back yard in the 80's teamed with a descrambler ensured that I overdosed on hours and hours some of the best televisioin programming in history.

There were not many children in my neighborhood that I found interesting. This means that I spent a lot of time alone. I did not mind so much because it allowed me time to feed my addiction. One of the best hours ever on tv was weekday afternoons on WGN from Chicago. They broadcast two of the best shows: G.I. Joe and Transformers, Monday-Friday on Galaxy 1, channel 3. G.I. Joe was great. After each and every violence-filled half-hour episode, a buff, often top naked male fighter, delivered an important message for life: "Don't play with downed power lines!" or "Be careful when building a tree house. It might fall on you!" The Transformers were what they were and did not try to hide it: A violence filled half hour of entertainment that was going to sell millions of plastic toys.

Because of nostalgia, I decided to try and find some old episodes of Transformers online, and, with luck, I found the first and second episodes to download (probably illegally). Oh, what joy! I viewed them yesterday. I'd forgotten all of the love in that show. I was a little taken aback when the first scene of sweet robot love took place in episode two. "Where is the Love?" Spike and Hound found it one day out on the rocks. Ouch!

Looking back, I think that it was beautiful that no one ever made an issue of robots loving humans and humans loving robots. Love was love, and that was enough. It conquered all.

More than meets the eye.

(Having a satellite also exposed me to much more than the Transformers and robot love. I saw much more than I probably ever should have seen as a child or at any age. Maybe that's why I'm so warped today. Mother, remember the time you got fed up and unhooked the descrambler--not just an electronic device but a practical lesson in ethics and honesty-- because you wanted to chunk it, and when Dad tried to hook it back up, all that would come on the tv screen was: "Hi Asshole. Have fun."?)

2006-03-15T23:56:00.000-11:00

You give up your dream... You die.

Believe it, man.

You have to do what's right for you.

Dance, I say!

Despite all the flaws in this movie, it works, and you love it because deep down you can relate to Alex. You have dreams. You want to make them come true, but you have fears of being inferior, and you want to make them happen on your own terms.

First, when there's nothing but a slow glowing dream
That your fear seems to hide deep inside your mind
All alone I have cried silent tears full of pride
In a world made of steel, made of stone

Take your passion, and make it happen.

(Deep down inside, didn't we all want to be strippers at one time? I know I did. That is the first thing I remember wanting to be, as a child, when I grew up. I remember seeing strippers on Donohue when I was like five or six, and I was sold. Dancing and taking your clothes off--my two favorite things. Then there was the stripper episode of Chips.)

2006-03-15T18:35:00.000-11:00

The trees have eyes
(At least our car did not break down and leave us stranded in the desert in California to be stalked and murdered by savage people.)

This entry was inspired by a photo taken by a friend. He is a self-proclaimed "amateur", but he's taken some pretty great shots. Check out his photoblog: A DISTORTED PERSPECTIVE

A photo that he posted a couple of days ago made me think of an experience I recently had while on recess duty at school. A little over a week ago, a small second grader, Alec, came to me on the playground and told me, "The tree has an eye." I went over to see what he was talking about, and sure enough, the tree had an eye.

Oh, imagination!

Take a journey.

2006-03-13T19:00:00.000-11:00

Why do I have a problem with this?

Receiving the following email this afternoon made me sick, physically made me sick. I'm not into judging others or using their misfortune for my benefit. This email is so mean spirited, Satan in my inbox.

Read on if you like, but I'm warning you; I'm still feeling a bit naseated from my perusal.

Make a personal reflection about this. Very interesting, read until the end...

It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7):
"Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."

Here are some men and women who mocked God:

JOHN LENNON:
Some years before during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:

"Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain. Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, Today we are more famous than Him" (1966).

Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.

TANCREDO NEVES (President of Brazil):
During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency. Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died.

CAZUZA (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet):
During a show in Caneco ( Rio de Janeiro ), whilst smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said: "God, that's for you."

He died at the age of 32 of AIDS in a horrible manner.

THE MAN WHO BUILT TITANIC:
After the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be. With an ironic tone he said: "Not even God can sink it"

The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic.

MARILYN MONROE:
She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show. He is a preacher and Evangelist and the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her. After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said:

"I don't need your Jesus"

A week later, she was found dead in her apartment.

BON SCOTT:
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:

"Don't stop me, I'm going down all the way, wow the highway to hell".

On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his vomit.

CAMPINAS/SP IN 2005
In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend. The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter - holding her hand, who was already seated in the car: "MY DAUGHTER, GO WITH GOD AND MAY HE PROTECT YOU",

She responded: ONLY IF HE (GOD) TRAVELS IN THE BOOT, COZ INSIDE HERE IT'S ALREADY FULL"

Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the boot was intact.

The police said there was no way the boot could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the boot was a crate of eggs, none was broken.

Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus. Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive. JESUS!!!

P.S: If it was a joke, you could have sent it to everyone. So are you going to have courage to send this?. I have done my part, Jesus said "If you get embarrassed about me, I will also get embarrassed about you before my father."

What benefit does it have, if a man gains the whole world but loses his soul?

What can man give in exchange of his soul? (Mathew 16:26)

***MOM STOP READING HERE!!!***

"When God gives you AIDS, (and God does give you AIDS, by the way) make lemonAIDS."--Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic

2006-03-12T23:06:00.002-11:00

I'M GOING BACK
TO UGANDA!

It's official! I received the official appointment letter from Ambrosoli International School last week, and I sent them my acceptance letter today. I'm going to begin the next phase my stage as an elementary/primary school teacher in Uganda in August. I'm so excited!!!

I cannot believe that I'm going to be back in Kampala in less than four months. It is almost overwhelming. There are so many preparations to be made.

I've decided that from today until I arrive in Uganda, I shall post each week a reason that I am so excited to be going back to Uganda. Today's reason is FRIENDS.

I miss my dear friends in Uganda so much. My very best friend is Kyazze Charles. He is one of the most intelligent, kind-hearted, hardworking, determined people I know. I've been friends with Charles for over three years now. He was very suppportive of me during my time in the Peace Corps. If it were not for him, my third year would not have been as successful or enjoyable.

Other amazing friends in Uganda include: Kobusinge Jenny, Kato Erisama, Bisamunyu Kalindi Tom, Kalindi Raymond, Asaba Arthur, Mr. Amon, Madam Mary, Liz, Ani, Bingi James, Badru Kassas, Shirley Byakutaba, Eppy, Florence, Kyamuhendo Marion, Gordon, Ruth, Roger Follas, Innocent, Geoffrey, Murungi, Mama Tony, Tata Tony, my taxi driver friends, Herman, Swizen, Arthur, Kristina, and many more that I am blanking on right now.

As sung by Marie Osmond as Rose Petal:

Friends
Nothing better than friends.

2006-03-11T18:55:00.000-11:00

Need to loose a few extra pounds?

Get AYDS.

This commercial is from 1982. Talk about bad timing. The strange disease that was turning up and killing young gay men in New York City finally got a name in August of 1982: AIDS.

For a brief history of AIDS, go to http://www.avert.org/his81_86.htm.

2006-03-09T22:17:00.000-11:00

Ok, so I love Natalie Portman.
She's beautiful; she's intelligent; she's talented;
she's

Check out Nat's rap video from SNL on www.youtube.com. You might not find it there because either SNL, NBC or both are being real bitches, and anytime it gets posted, they shut it down. Good luck because the entertainment value of the clip is well worth the time it takes to hunt it down.

"What you want, Natalie?"

"To drink and fight!"

2006-03-05T21:50:00.000-11:00

All Hail the Queen!!!

On Saturday night, some friends and I went out to have a real Samoan cultural experience, and we attended the Mizz Corona Pageant in Pago Pago. Now this was no ordinary beauty pageant (no scholarship opportunity here). It was a beauty pageant for fa'afafines. What's a fa'afafine? Look carefully at the above photo. A bit manly? Guess what...

Fa'afafines are transgendered men who play an important role in Samoan society. They are very accepted and respected here. Google fa'afafines and do little research.

The pageant was a little bit Miss America and a lot drag show. It was a hoot!

I found it very interesting that the Jr. ROTC were on stage during the evening gown portion of the pageant saluting the wannabe queens. No, they are not the military yet, but they are the next best thing. I saw it as an interesting combination of gays and (almost) military.

Prizes included cans of tuna and cases of beer!!! Alright!

2006-02-26T11:22:00.000-11:00

SMILE!

It's yearbook time. Above are the two pages of candid photos that my class put together. I did not want the same ol' boring page of random quadralateral photos put together. I understand that the memories are fun, but I'm just not that boring to put together just another collection of photos without leaving my signature or at least arranging them in a little more interesting manner. I chose to do a physical cut-n-paste. We also did a very rough job to make it look like a scapbook page that someone might actually put together. The concept was to represent the places and subjects we've studied over the year. Represented are Africa, the Antarctic, art masterpieces, penguins, Chasing Vermeer, and Grease. (We only watched it once, but I think it had more of am impact on my students than many of our formal studies.)

Putting this page together was very stressful. I thought that I was basically finished with it on Friday afternoon. I thought I would need to do a couple of edits on Saturday morning, and that would be it. I arrived at school at 11:00am on Saturday, and I did not leave until 7:00pm. It was more than I'd bargained for.

In the end, I went for the image that I'd completed three hours earlier. I kept making changes and trying new ideas because I allowed someone else to influence my direction. Why do I do that? Why can't I just make up my mind, be comfortable with and confident in my own decisions? I think I'll never learn. My orginal idea ended up being the best. Well, after hour upon hour or edits, I finally accepted that. At least I knew for sure what was best.

I hope it looks good in the final print.

(Pay no attention to the possible copyright violations.)

2006-02-23T15:27:00.000-11:00

Elections took place in Uganda yesterday (still today here). From what I've read, they were for the most part peaceful. A friend in Kampala told me that folks were stocking up at supermarkets, preparing for the worst. From what he told me, it sounded like what we do in Florida when a hurricane is heading our way: disaster preparedness.

ROCK THE VOTE!

I'm optimistic.

Yeah, right.

2006-02-20T20:05:00.000-11:00

RENT IS DUE!!!

The DVD of Rent the movie is out on the 15th February. I have waited for this date for so long. As I mention in my profile, my life is one big musical, and many days its soundtrack is the Rent Soundtrack. I love this show. I fell in love with it at university in 1998. My roommate, Jeff, was a big fan. He and another roommate, Dustin, went to New York for spring break. Jeff saw the show and brought back the soundtrack.

It was about a year later before I was able to see the show. A touring company came to Orlando in January, 1999. Jeff, Travis and I loaded up in my VW Fox for a day-trip one Saturday and loved the show. I had my oil changed the day before our trip, but the oil light kept coming on the whole trip down. I was worried my engine would blow up, and we'd miss the show. Fortunately neither of the above occurred.

I saw the show again in Gainesville in January, 2000. I was finally able to see it on Broadway in January 2001. In January 2002, just before I left for Uganda and Peace Corps, it came to Tallahassee. The last place I thought I'd ever see it.

Every January, I just happened to be where Rent was showing, so I was convinced that it would be staged in Uganda in 2003. Unfortunately, it did not come. It is 2006, and it's been four years since I last saw Rent on stage.

The soundtrack was an integral part of my time in Peace Corps. It brought several of us volunteers together. Susan and I would have sing throughs when were were together. We knew every word to every song. Sleep overs were so much fun. Some days we'd throw Dawn in the mix and have a sing-along while walking the streets of Kampala. I'm sure we were a sight to see and hear.

Rent never made it to the theater in American Samoa. There is only one theater with only two screens. Many films never make it down here. I've been waiting patiently for the day the DVD comes out. I'll confess now that I got my hand on a copy early, and this weekend, I watch the film no less than five times. One of the video stores released it (illegally) on Saturday afternoon. When I got my hands on it, I felt so nervous and excited at the some time.

The first viewing was a little difficult because it's a movie, and there are changes made to the songs and the script to make it work in that medium. The following four screenings were pure enjoyment and fun. I loved it. I had a couple of issues with a some of changes, but I can live with them. The scenes that were included on disc two put to rest one of my biggest concerns. Like anyone really cares what I think anyway.

I loved Rent the movie. I will buy it. I hope that Ace gets a copy in on Tuesday so I can buy it. Otherwise, I'll rely on Amazon.com to get it to me in two weeks.

2006-02-11T22:37:00.000-11:00

Let me begin this entry by saying that I LOVE KELLY CLARKSON, and I'm so happy that she picked up some Grammys on Wednesday. I cannot get enough of "Since You've Been Gone". Before I left Uganda, I used to imagine my village singing that after I left, celebrating my non-presence, an anthem of liberation.

Thanks, Jennifer, for the introduction!

On a more serious note, I love coffee shops. Coffee has never been drunk in my home, but I've always loved the smell of coffee. My teachers in elementary school always had a mug of hot coffee in their desks, and I remember always loving the trip to their desks in the mornings to ask a question or turn in lunch or milk money and have the chance to inhale the aroma. Coffee shops are also great places to go and read, study or just hang out. Luckily, there are two coffee shops on the island. They both opened since I moved here, and, luckily, one is located in the hotel that is within walking distance from my apartment. I live next door to the general manager of the hotel, and he refers to me as their best customer. It's called Kofe Plus, and I'm there several nights a week working on lesson plans or assignments. I'm there now posting on this blog.

The other coffee shop, Koko Bean, is a couple of miles away in a shopping center. They close very early, 5:00pm. I have class three nights a week until 6:00pm, and the other days I'm at school until around 5:00. I try to make it there on Saturday mornings because they make the best cinnamon rolls on island; friends compare their goodness to sex. They used to make the best chocolate muffins. Recently, they changed the recipe. The muffins now taste like chocolate cup cakes made form a Dunkin Hines mix--not bad, but not muffins as they were.

This morning, I changed my routine, and instead of buying a cinnamon roll, I bought the pan cake breakfast. It was sooooooo good. I was served a plate with scrambled eggs, sausages, bacon, and two huge, fluffy pan cakes. Borrowing a description from my good friend Richie Garcia, they were "amazing". It was too much food for me. I only managed to put away half of the meal, but each mouthful was a beautiful experience. After I finished, I had to thank all of the workers involved in the pleasure experienced by my taste buds, stomach, entire body. It was a great way to start an overall great day. Thank you Koko Bean.

2006-02-09T16:17:00.000-11:00

I dedicate this posting to my "B":

If it weren't for your maturity none of this would have happened
If you weren't so wise beyond your years I would've been able to control myself
If it weren't for my attention you wouldn't have been successful and
If it weren't for me you would never have amounted to very much

Ooh this could be messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

You're essentially an employee and I like you having to depend on me
You're kind of my protege and one day you'll say you learned all you know from
me
I know you depend on me like a young thing would to a guardian
I know you sexualize me like a young thing would and I think I like it

Ooh this could get messy
But you don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
I've more than honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this

what part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept?
what part of your memory is selective and tends to forget?
what with this distance it seems so obvious?

Just make sure you don't tell on me especially to members of your family
We best keep this to ourselves and not tell any members of our inner posse
I wish I could tell the world cuz you're such a pretty thing when you're done
up properly
I might want to marry you one day if you watch that weight and keep your firm
body

Ooh this could be messy and
Ooh I don't seem to mind
Ooh don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime

I love you, B. We have nothing to be ashamed of. My hands were indelibly stained by our relationship. I don't mean stained in a bad way, like the green stain that gets on your palms after weeding in the garden without gloves. I mean the good kind of stained, like the one you get on your fingers when eating blackberries or a tattoo (if it's a good tattoo, not a crappy home made one your friends gives to you when you are 15).

2006-01-30T20:42:00.000-11:00

Thursday, the 26th January, was Australia Day. We celebrated it in my class by learning about Australian Flags: The National Flag, Aboriginal Flag and Torres Strait Islanders Flag. We sang the Australian National Anthem and I Am Australian. (The latter is the better of the two if you ask me.) One of my students is Australian, and she presented a PowerPoint presentation that she prepared about the things that make Australia special. Her mother prepared Australian bites like ANZAC cookies, dampa, ripple cake, toast with Nutella and toast with Vegemite.

What is Vegemite? It is yeast extract. Beyond that, I don't know. Either you like it or you don't. There is no middle ground. I like. I've eaten a piece of toast with it everyday since Thursday.

The Chinese New Year was also recently celebrated. My class celebrated it a couple of days early. The new year was on Sunday, so we had our celebration on Friday. 2006 is the year of the Dog. I was born in the year of the Dragon.

Below is who I am according to the Zodiac:

People born in the Year of the Dragon are healthy, energetic, excitable, short-tempered, and stubborn. They are also honest, sensitive, brave, and they inspire confidence and trust. Dragon people are the most eccentric of any in the eastern zodiac. They neither borrow money nor make flowery speeches, but they tend to be soft-hearted which sometimes gives others an advantage over them. They are compatible with Rats, Snakes, Monkeys, and Roosters.

We cooked a stir-fry in class and steamed some rice. A Taiwanese student in my class brought two dishes that her mother prepared. One of the students made a dragon, and we went outside to have a parade. Friday was a perfect day until 10 minutes before school let out. One of my students had a severe asthma attack. I did not even know he had asthma. He's new this semester. Apparently, he's also allergic to peanuts. His mother did not include that on his list of allergies in his file. One of the dishes prepared contained peanuts, and I informed the class of this. Well, he ate it anyway. I was terrified. He was terrified. He could not breathe. Thank goodness his uncle arrived at the end of the day and was able to rush him to the nearby clinic.

Don't worry. He was ok. I called his home over the weekend to check on him. He was fine in class today.

2006-01-22T17:09:00.000-11:00

Across
4. City of birth for King and Coca Cola.
6. King was admitted to this college at the age of 15.
8. Tennessee city where King was assassinated in 1968.
10. Said, "I do," to King in 1953.
11. He won this award at the age of 35.

Down
1. ..."they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their __________..."
2. In 1959, King traveled to India to study this man's philosophy of nonviolence.
3. Woman who did not give up her seat on the bus.
5. Magazine that named King "Man of the Year" in 1964.
7. Memorial where "I Have a Dream" speech was delivered.
9. Rock band U2 recorded this song in the eighties in honor of King.

The cross word puzzle was edited out of the page that we contributed to last week's newspaper. I thought that it was pretty good so here it is. Have fun!

2006-01-22T16:30:00.001-11:00

I'm having ipod troubles. I've had my ipod Shuffle since the end of May 2005, and I'd fallen in love with it. I loved that it was so small and sleek. The feature that I loved the most was that it did not need any cables to connected to a computer. I could just plug it into a USB port. I used it as a flash drive and as a music player. Out of no where yesterday it stopped working. It still plays the songs that are on it, but it is not recognized when I plug it into my computer or anyone elses. I cannot retrieve information I had saved on it or change the songs that are saved on it. I've read my owner's manual and go online for assistance, and NOTHING! I'm disappointed. I'm biting my nails again.

2006-01-18T16:12:00.000-11:00

Here are the monsters!

I have the privilege to spend many hours each day with these thirteen fabulous kids. The last week and a half have been fantastic. We've been studying Martin Luther King, Jr. They made dioramas of the famous "I Have a Dream" speech and wrote speeches about their own dreams for the world. We're studying current events this quarter (we study them every quarter, but this quarter, we are building our unit around them), and I'm letting the students play a big role in the direction we move over the next nine weeks. So far so good. We're being published in the newspaper tomorrow!!! I have a friend who works for the Samoa News, and she helped us get an opportunity to contribute to a sponsored page. We created a page about what we've learned about MLK. Two of the students' speeches will be printed, a student contributed a crossword puzzle, and we made a timeline of MLK's life. We also included an exerpt from the "I Have a Dream Speech," and there will be exerpts from the other students' speeches. The biggest deal to the students is that a photo of our class will be printed (in color, no less) on the page. I'm excited for them. It's a big deal to me, too. I cannot wait to see the paper tomorrow.

2006-01-15T23:46:00.000-11:00

You gotta love Phase 10!

Celeste and I spent most of the day in bed watching movies. We watched A Lot Like Love and The Perfect Man, to little romantic comedies that were not so great, but, at the same time, were not so bad; they both had their merits. I usually HATE Ashton Kutcher. I was pleasantly surprised by him in A Lot Like Love. I loved the kind of relationship that his and Amanda Peet's characters shared. I want to be best friends with the one I fall in love with and do fun and crazy things together.

The Pefect Man really was not so good, but it was fine for a lazy day on top of an air matress. I've had a relationship with a person who is afraid to let anyone get too close (I think I'm often that person.), and I know how fantastic it is to finally open up and trust someone.

Amy, Luke, Celeste and I all played Phase 10 tonight. What a great game! I lost (surprise, surprise). Thank goodness I'm not too competitive or a sore loser. It was fun. I cannot play Phase 10 and not think of the trip Melissa, Kyazze and I took to Zanzibar a year ago. We played many a game on the beach. It's nice to play indoors and not worry about the wind blowing the cards away.

2006-01-14T23:35:00.000-11:00

Oh what a night!

Can't you see the postcoital bliss in our faces? If only. Celeste and I are just borrowing an idea from my dear friend Jennifer (who, by the way, is freezing her booty off in Iowa) and taking honeymoon photos on her new air matress. No matter what the hooker might try to tell you, there is absolutely no sex in Celeste's bedroom, no sex in Celeste's bedroom, no sex in Celeste's bedroom.

It's a three-day weekend thanks to the dear man, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. We just finished watching a movie that left us quite unimpressed, The Upside of Anger. It is on several top 10 lists for 2005. God, what a bad year for film.

2006-01-10T21:07:00.000-11:00

I LOVE SAMOA!!!

2006-01-09T20:44:00.000-11:00

The Bitch is back!!!

School started back today, and it was a good day.

My class is quite different than last semester. Four of my students have left for other places, and I have two new students, two Samoans (a brother and sister) who just moved back from Salt Lake City, Utah. My class is much more gender-balanced. The four students I lost were all male.

It is amazing how much one student to affect the whole class. One of the students that I lost was one of the most difficult people I ever worked with. He was not a bad kid, he just suffered from a complete lack of judgement. I expended so much energy defusing issues that he cause. I was wearing me out, plus I was losing so much time that I could have used for teaching. I was actually quite fond of this student, and I'm going to miss him. However, there is already an obvious difference (a good one) in the classroom. I think I'm going to enjoy his absence.

Two of the other three students that left the school were also quite difficult. I find it an odd stroke of luck that the three most difficult students from last semester are all gone. I hope I'm not being too optimistic, but I really thing this semester is going to go quite well. If today was any indicator for the rest of the quarter, it is going to be an enjoyable time.

FYI: The psycho parents transferred their kids to another school. I hope I never have to deal with them again. In fact, I really hope I never see them again. They really make me sick. I'm throwing up in my mouth right now typing about them.

2006-01-06T21:03:00.000-11:00

At the LAUNDROMAT:

There's wireless internet at the laundromat. Who knew? Actuallly, someone in the area has wireless at his or her home and did not password protect access to their service so my laptop can pick up the signal. Lucky for me. Wireless internet at a laundromat... What a fantastic idea! I mean, one has to spend a couple of hours there to complete washing and drying. It would be a great service. I know that would bring customers to a laundromat in some areas: a cyberlaundromat. I'll add that to my list of ideas for getting rich for early retirement. Put in an espresso machine, magazines, and some boardgames, and it would become a great college student hangout. Laundromats have always been kind of sketchy places to me. Not even middle class. Maybe I just choose sketchy places to do my laundry. (I always get the lowest prices per load.)

Back to work. I've got to complete my unit plan for next school term. It begins on Monday.

2006-01-05T22:35:00.000-11:00

Omo, Unilever’s international-brand washing powder

Omo is a blue detergent powder launched in 1954, and became the Unilever spearhead in the synthetic detergent market. New Blue Star Omo was introduced at the end of March 1963. Today, Unilever is aggressively promoting Omo all over Asia and Africa, packaged in quantities down to 35 gram. Unilever’s brands Persil, Omo and Skip (other Unilever brands include the pre-war brand Sunlight, Sun, Vim and Surf) are engaged in fierce competition with Procter & Gamble's washing powder brands for pole position in just about every world market.

P&G was the first to use one brand name for its leading detergent (Tide) in some countries and another brand name, with a different package (Ariel) in the others. Unilever copied this policy. The company markets Surf in many countries and Omo in the remainder. The products are almost identical. But the packages are dissimilar enough that retailers stock Surf in the same section with Omo, often at the same price, so consumers must believe they are different products.

My favorite price! How could I pass it up? I bought two boxes.

2006-01-04T11:32:00.000-11:00

It's my birthday, and I'll be fly if I want to.

I decided to treat myself to a birthday outfit from gap.com that I won't see for another two weeks (or more). Why did I not just go shopping on the island? Good question. I have a question for you: Where would I go? Yes, there are shops on-island where I can find t-shirts; however, there are no retail chains here, and clothing boutiques the deal in clothing that's my style are pretty much non-existent. (What is my style, anyway?) The next big problem that I have with shopping for clothes in American Samoa is that nothing fits. (Okay, saying nothing is not 100% true, but trying to find something that I like that fits is almost an impossibility). Samoans are known for being large people. You know how sizes usually go S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL (for the hefty ones). You can buy XXXXXXXXL (8XL) shirts here. I kid you not.

I wanted a new outfit for the new year. Check out the trousers I purchased for myself from gap.com above. They are a bit dressy, but I'm tired of wearing jeans. I figured they'd be versatile. I could dress them up or down. Anyway, I had a big problem finding a shirt to accompany them. It's winter in the US so the online stores only have long-sleeved shirts in stock. I ended up only getting a belt and some boxers with my trousers. This is where you can help. If you want to send me a birthday gift (Did I mention it is my 30th? Yeah, I'm getting up there.), how about considering a short-sleeved, button-up shirt, size small, that would look nice with these navy blue trousers? I don't know if you can tell, bu they little pin stripes. For an idea, observe the shirt the model is wearing in the photo. Something like that in a short-sleeved version would be nice. If you'd like to surprise me, my address is:

P.O. Box 326
Pago Pago, AS 96799

Happy birthday to me!

2006-01-03T22:34:00.000-11:00

I thank my lucky stars it really was not so good.

I saw it at the bakery at KS supermarket. I've been trying to eat a more healthy diet, but you know cheesecake can really be good for you. Right? I saw it through the glass in the bakery, and it started to sing out my name. It was so cute looking up at me, and I could tell that it wanted to come home with me. I was sold. I bought it.

Dinner was great, chicken breast and couscous with a Coke Zero. I really have to eat more veggies. I need to get more vitamins in my diet. Time for the cheesecake. I took it out of the cute little box it came in. To truly understand this moment, you have to truly know me as the cheesecake fan I am. I adore good cheesecake. I have to stress the good. I'm usually apprehensive about eat cheesecake from unknown bakers because a bad piece of cheesecake can really ruin my day (or evening as it was). I took my chance with the Korean baker at KS Mart because it's been a while since I've had a piece, and I already explained how cute it looked staring up at me through the glass. (I really have to stop going shopping when I'm hungry.)

Oh the drama. I took my first bite and almost threw up in my mouth. D-I-S-G-U-S-T-I-N-G! It was like biting into foam rubber with an essence of cream cheese and lemon extract? You can't judge a cheesecake by its appearance, no matter how cute it looks through the glass.

An afterthought: I’m watching Party Party on Bravo. Some people should never be allowed to have children.

2006-01-02T22:34:00.000-11:00

On the sofa watching Beaches, the 1988 film with Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey. Well Barbara’s character has just died, and Bette’s “Wild Beneath My Wings is playing in the background. Melodramatic, but I love it. This was my favorite movie when I was in sixth and seventh grades. I used to cry every time I saw it. I don’t easily cry, but movies do it to me sometimes. Maybe I just hold so much in that I subconsciously allow myself to let go when I’m in the darkness of a movie theater or alone watching a DVD. I remember watching Tim Burton’s Big Fish two summer’s ago. I was home visiting on a little break from Uganda and Peace Corps. I was watching it on the television in my mother’s bedroom. When it ended, I just started crying. Tears were rolling down my face, and I could not make myself stop. I laughed at myself, and the tears still came. The last film I watched that made me cry was Crash. I cried at least three times during that movie.

That’s enough about crying.

2006-01-01T18:23:00.000-11:00

Am back in business with a new look for 2006.

So much has occurred in my life since my last post. I don't want to go into all the details because they are complicated, and I don't feel like spending so much time at the keyboard typing. To summarize, I almost left American Samoa. I was offered a dream position teaching in Uganda. I went as far as telling my boss that I was resigning. I told most of the people close to me that I was leaving. Circumstances have changed. I'm no longer leaving. I still have a dream-job offer, but for August. I'm going to complete the year here. It's going to work out best for everyone this way.

I continue to do a lot of soul searching. I'm trying to find balance and be happy with my decision, happy where I am in life. I usually do not have such a hard time doing that. This has been one of the strangest experiences of my life. I usually have no problem finding my place in a community and establishing my life where I am, but it has been difficult for me here. I wallowed in self pity for a while, but I'm shutting the pity party down.

On a positive note (see I'm trying), I gave myself a new digital camera for Christmas, so I can post photos to my blog again.

Happy New Year!!!

2005-11-25T10:17:00.000-11:00

The day after Thanksgiving and no shopping. I've not been shopping on the day after Thanksgiving in many years because I've not been on the mainland US on that momentous occasion since 2000. It was a great time that year. My mom came to Tallahassee to stay the night with me in the dump I was living in without heat. We got up at 5:00am to be in line at Toys-R-Us with the other sale maniacs looking to save on Christmas gifts. I wanted the Princess Amadala doll and a Furby or two for some friends' children that year. We also went to Best Buy to get cheap CD's. The highlight of the day was going to Governor's Square Mall and seeing Tiffany perform songs from her new album. Yes, the same "I Think We're Alone Now" Tiffany of 80's fame. It was so fantastic. My mom and I had a great day. I miss spending quality fun time with her like that.

My family has a hard time having fun together. It's always been like that. We don't have a lot of patience with one another so we easily irritate each other. A family gathering turns into a questioning and correcting fest, fun for the whole family. I'm just as guilty as any other member of my family of doing this, but I'm probably the one it has affected the most. Maybe that's why I'm so neurotic. I'm not relaxed around my family. I don't think they get me, and I'm pretty sure I don't get them. I don't know my brothers at all. We were not friends during my teenage years, and I hit the door running after graduating from high school. Only occasionally do I look back. It's kind of sad.

Thanksgiving is a time for families. It's the only big holiday in the US is not about gimme, gimme, gimme. You don't have to buy the best gift, give flowers or chocolates or worry about if you've bought the right size. It's a day for you to gather with those you love and share a nice meal. I think that's great.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

2005-10-31T18:07:00.000-11:00

I remember a bumper sticker I think my brother used to have. It said, "Mean people suck!" How true that is. I dislike mean people to the nth degree. We have to live with them though. We can't just erradicate them or we, ourselves, would become the mean ones.

I consider myself a nice person. Most people that know me consider me a nice person. I am super didicated to anything I decide is important to me. These days I'm married to my profession as a teacher. I pretty much live at the school improving my classroom and planning for lessons. Some days I wish I had a bed a the school so I did not have to come home in the evenings. One day this might burn me out, but for now, teaching 5th and 6th grade is my life.

Most of the parents I deal with are super great. They are so supportive and are there when I need them. Others... hmm. I just left the most stressful meeting of my life. It was a parent-teacher conference with the mother and father of two boys that I have in my fifth grade class. Basically it was a game of "let's attack Timothy and tell him what a lousy teacher he is and pretend that we are not being patronizing and accusing him of being unprofessional when he tries to defend himself against allegations of not taking his work seriously." Oh my goodness! I was so offended. I just wanted to get up and walk out. The couple just made me sick. They said they were trying to give constructive feedback. Well, they suck at it.

Thank heavens my school's director was also at the conference, and she jumped in to defend me. I've never really seen her get so upset. She knew that their allegations were unfounded and inappropriate. It made me feel a little better, but I still felt like "poo" because I am not used top people questioning my work ethic, knowledge or skills. The guy kept referring to me as "young." That might sound like a compliment, but it the context, it was so insulting.

My job would be so pleasurable if I did not have to deal with this family. I love the kids, but the parents... I've had issues with them since day one. Day ONE!!! They have been on my case. I've not had a problem with anyone else. In fact, I get compliments from other parents, so I know that it is not me. However, the stress these parents bring to me sure makes up for what I don't get from the others. Mean people suck.

2005-09-14T19:59:00.000-11:00

I am missing everyone today. I received several emails from some of the volunteers I served with in Uganda. Some of them are doing well, but many are still searching for work and all. I'm probably the one with the most stable job. I never realized how much these people meant to me in my life. Reading their emails has flooded me with emotions, and I'm quite sad to be so far away from all of them. There's no meeting in Bulgolobi on Friday night for pizza or catching a movie at Cineplex when we are passing through town.

I put up walls to keep people at a distance, to keep me from getting attached and protect my heart from getting ripped apart. Occasionally, someone gets over the wall. I found the best friends I ever had over the past three years, and it was only a fairytale that endend when I woke up and boarded that plane on 11th May 2005.

Getting on with life and figuring out where I'm going now is what my new challenge is. It's not so bad, but I'm looking for that niche that I once found where I fit for once.

2005-09-07T21:35:00.000-11:00

I'm a student again! I began a course yesterday with the University of Hawaii on curriculum development . GO ME!!! I hope that before the summer I will have my teacing certificate. I really need this course. The obvious reason is to get certified and learn how to be a better teacher, blah, blah, blah. . . Another very important reason is that it gives me a chance to meet new people. I need to expand my circle of friends here. It is so important for me to find more like-minded individuals, people with personalities that are fun to me, and, most importantly, people who get me and will support me when I need it. I also wanted to meet more Samoans. Like I said before, I respect other cultures, and being friends with people who are Samoan gives me an invalualbe opportunity to learn and understand.

2005-09-04T23:36:00.000-11:00

I'm in the middle of a four-day weekend. Not only do I get Labor day off, but the school's director cancelled our in-service meeting set for Tuesday and gave us that day off as well. It is a well needed break. School's only been in for a month, but I'm exhausted. Teaching is a lot of work.

On Friday, the mother of two of my students came to observe my class. She's been on me since the first week of school to set up a day when she could observe my class. I still am not sure what she wanted to see. Friday was the day set up for her to visit. She bought her boys to school and stayed for the first two subjects and was then ready to leave. I tried to make her as welcome and comfortable as possible during her visit. I offered he a seat, but she refused it. All in all, I think the visit was ok. I think that she just wanted to check out the new teacher. He boys are also new at this school. She had a couple of questions about curriculum and outside time for the children. Then she asked me if I made lesson plans. What was that supposed to mean? Anyone who has ever talked with me knows that I have a tendency to ramble, but I don't think my lessons went that far off course that morning. The little devil sitting on my shoulder tempted me to tell her, "No, I just pull everything out of my butt as I go along," but the angel sitting on my other shoulder had me respond with a kinder truth. Did I have lesson plans? Timothy Hatcher always has a plan.

Disaster struck on Saturday. I dropped my phone in the water! I was climbing the side of a cliff to get a better shot of some waves with my camera, and my phone fell from my swim suit into the bay. As quickly as I could, I climbed back down and jumped into the water to retrieve it. It was only under the water for a few seconds, but that seems to be enough to ruin it. I immediately took the battery off and set it out to dry, hoping that it would work later. My friend Charles dropped his phone in water while washing dishes. It stopped working, but after letting it dry, it was fine. I hoped that was the case.

When we go home, I took Cristy's blow dryer and tried to dry the phone even more. I put the battery back on and tried to switch the phone on. The lights came on, and it began to vibrate. I think I must've shorted it out because nothing comes on anymore. Nicole works with the mobile phone company. She is going to take it to work with her on Tuesday. She assures me that the technicians will be able to repair it. I hope so. It made me so sick to see it under the water. Everything is overpriced here on the island, especially electronics. I paid about $350 for this phone, and I don't know when I'll have enough money to buy another one.

This evening, Sunday, Cristy and I were stuck for hours at the laundry mat. We got there, and there were several washers available. We were happy because we thougth that this would be an in and out deal. We each only had two loads to wash. What I failed to realized when we arrived was that these two guys ahead of us had about 10 loads to dry and were waiting for dryers to be available. We ended up waiting about two hours for these two to finish so we could get access to a dryer. The silver lining to this cloud is that it gave me time to finish reading the book my class is reading, The Captive, by Joyce Hansen. I now have all the questions I need for class and to make worksheets, and I have the vocabulary words for the next three weeks!

What joy will the next two days of holiday bring?